Friday, February 26, 2010

Haunted by cards

I am a tarot junkie.
I do daily readings for myself both online and in the real world. I have been collecting tarot decks now for over 20 years. I have 22 decks at this time and always looking for more.

One of my favourite sites is 78Notes to Self I have been a reader of that blog now since the blogger started up.

I also post on my pagan blog and my main blog sometimes when I have a card that seems to be really trying to tell me something. What I mean by that is when I get the same card over and over again for weeks sometimes months at a time showing up in my readings. I will then sit down, pour over every image of the card I can find (as all decks are different) and compare the meanings from each deck and the emotions each version causes in me. Sometimes, I'll understand what they are trying to tell me, sometimes I walk away more clueless then before.
This is one of those clueless moments.

I have been getting the Knight of Swords card in every reading, and I mean every reading for the last week. No matter what deck I use, no matter how much I shuffle no matter if I use the online sites or real decks. The damned Knight of Swords just won't go away.

It's a card of strife, of spies, of uncovering the truth, of arguments, of fear and just not giving a damn.

Yes, I have been having issues with a male friend and this could be representing him/the situation. It could also be the last situation I was in last fall with the local writer who after I worked with her on her promotion, everyone told me not to trust her. This could be a health issue. It could also be something I have not experienced yet but is on the way. It could represent a new boyfriend or business partner.

See, confusing.

The suite of Swords is an Air element card. The Knight of Swords is a Fire element character.
You got that?
Air elements are normally thinking issues. Fire elements are normally passions. So this card is telling me something that is a mix of my passions and thoughts.
This I am guessing would make him my Fear card? See, confusing.

But I am thinking of doing a more steady series of tarot posts soon. If for nothing else, to share some of my favourite decks.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I laughed myself into a choking fit

I was sitting here with a cup of coffee and listening to a Twiztid cd and the craziest thought came to my mind.

Couldn't you just picture Twiztid on the Martha Stewart show? I could not stop laughing.
Think about it, they could do one of the Halloween shows with her. Monoxide could paint her face up in the Twiztid zombie that is their trademark and Maddrox could help her make a batch of batshaped cookies with double chocolate frosting.
That's a show I would watch over and over. Think of the internet roll over it would have on every youtube out there.

Then my imagination really got scary. I was thinking what about Violent J ;on the Oprah show?
On one of her episodes of her favourite things where she always gives out gifts, normally at Christmas. She always has a musical guest preform. Violent J could do a version of "Santa Claus is a Fat Bitch" or better yet, "Pyromaniac" then light the stage on fire or something. And you know the part of the show when Oprah tells everyone to look under their seat cause they are going home with the latest cd and other gifts. They could have large rubber butcher knives with fake blood splatters.

Yeah, I found these ideas funny. I laughed so hard, I not only fell off the sofa, but started to choke on my coffee.
But that's clowns for you eh?

Actually, The idea of Twiztid on a Halloween episode of the Martha Stewart show is not that bad.
Violent J, on the Oprah show... that would be a touchy one. Unless, of course, she was promoting his biography for book club or something. Now, that I could half way see.

What, I have high hopes okay.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Did I hurt you?

Originally posted on my main blog on Feb 20th 2010

I used a screen capture for this post

This morning my friend's husband said to me "have you ever thought you hurt the feelings of that Alex guy from you contently talking about the one with the hair?"

Actually no I have never thought about that.

Friend's husband continued " what about the rest of the guys? What about how they feel reading your blog for your reviews and seeing all the extra stuff on that hair guy?"

Well that made me think.
Okay so maybe the rest of the X-Division would be feeling left out from me not spending single posts on them. From a press point of view, I could understand that. And I will say sorry for that.

But as far as Alex Shelley goes, from the promo they did back in the summer (Aug 20th 2009 episode) where they were making fun of their fans being lazy, um no. I think it would take a hell of a lot more then me to hurt his feelings.

Thou he does look sweet and vulnerable in this one photo. It does make you want to take him home and cook for him.

If you would like to read the original with comments go here

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Im the Vampire that's Why- by Michele Bardsley

Originally posted on my vampire blog on Feb 8th 2010

Book #1 in the Broken Heart Oklahoma series.

Plot: Jessica is a single mom, widowed after her husband was killed in a car accident. As she is taking out the trash she's attacked by a creature and killed.
Only, Jessica doesn't die, she gets turned into a vampire. Not only is she now dealing with being one of 11 towns people who were turned that night, she has to deal with being the soul mate of one of the oldest vampires ever. Imagine, finding out you are a vampire, the soul mate of a Irish vampire prince and still having to make the weekly PTA meetings at your children's school.

I stumbled on this book one afternoon while at the mall. I had never heard of it before, but it was on a big book sale bin at christmas time. So glad I picked it up. I was looking for something "easy" to read this weekend and spotting it on my "To Read" pile picked it up. I could not put it down. I devoured this novel in just over a day. It's anything but "easy".
You are tossed back and forth slightly between the images of a modern mother and a 1950's mom. Jessica is a very realistic character who could very easily be telling you her story over coffee as to being a fictional vampire. The Irish folklore is weaved in; to perfection as you go deeper into the lives of the now vampire clan that the lead character has been thrust into.

It was a laugh out loud book, with moments that had me repeating the lines to myself as I made coffee on the rare moments I put the book down. And bonus for us fans out there of The Prince Bride (it's referenced and quoted more then once) and Remington Steele (all the males in the O'Halloran clan look like Pierce Brosnan)

The writing is witty, smart, fun and erotic. I went looking online to find there are 5 more in the series which I need to get as soon as possible.

Monday, February 15, 2010

For the Dead Travel Fast

Or you know not.

Let me explain myself alittle. I have been a fan of vampires my entire life. I have driving my friends and family nuts with my obsession for all things vampire.

I have one whole blog and two ning sites dedicated to the topic (a vampire ning site and a horror ning site)

I have a collection of movies, books, posters, candle holders, dolls, etc of vampire items.
I started an all vampire challenge after having done an all Jane Austen challenge last year, and seeing that the two genres were starting to mix. I was seeing vampire book blogs everywhere and thought it was a brilliant idea. Thought it would bring in a ton of people and we would get exposed to some new to you vampire books/movies.

I was wrong.

It brought in 4 people. And one person in the challenge did nothing by write poetry, while the others only watched/read Twilight and Vampire Diaries. No one contributed anything different.
I still have another 2 and a half months on the challenge but I am not holding my breath on anything new coming in.

Sad really when you think of it. I was told I was a head of my time. I loved vampires before they became so mainstream, now you can't suplex a wrestler without hitting a vampire freak.

My biggest pet peeve on the topic, are people who keep saying Vampire Diaries is too much like Twilight. This pisses me off to no end. I'll tell you why, VD were written over 20 years ago. A good 16 years before Twilight was written. (whole other rant) I loved the original Vampire Diaries when I was in high school. Have to admit, have not seen the tv show, but love the fact the books have gotten a re-issue in the last two years.

Somewhere around the year the first Underworld movie came out (2003) I started to drift way from the vampire genre. Not on purpose. Just what happened in my life. And of course it mushroomed into the media darling it is now. Part of me is glad I distanced myself from it for a few years, part of me wished I had hung on for dear life fangs first.
There is too much to try to keep up with in the genre. Movies are one thing, but books are very much another. Too many writers are in the mix.

Here is my vampire blog Alucard's Rose

I can't get into this

I've said before I try to get to all the blogs I follow a couple of times a week.
I can't seem to keep up with everyone right now. Not good.

On my main blog, I had a comment today from someone who it seems has been a long time reader, but never commented before. Here, I have been writing with the thought most of my readers were men (all the wrestling reviews I do) when it ends up I have a stack of female readers on that blog.

Okay, awkward.

I'm suppose to have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, but we just had a heavy storm here and I'm snowed/iced in. Had to call and try to change the appointment, only all I got was a voice mail. So waiting for the doctor's to call back.

My Jane Austen group was reading Emma for the month of January. I just could not get into the mood. Still can't, and they have moved on to the next book. So I am two books behind and just not feeling it.

Which brings me to my own novel. I need to work on it some more before I can send it to the editor. Only, I could care less right now. That is really really bad.

What a way to start off the Chinese New Year- Year of the Tiger. Feeling lifeless and tired.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Love? Lust? Or .....

Originally posted this on my main blog on June 15th 2009

When is it Love?

What is love?

Lust has been easy to define, hate has been too, but love is that strange thing in between that has never been able to be defined.

The Oxford Canadian Dictionary defines Lust : strong sexual desire, a passionate desire for, having a strong or excessive desire.
The Oxford Canadian Thesaurus gives alternates for Lust: sexual desire, sexual appetite, sexual longing, ardour, desire, passion, libido, sex drive, sexuality, biological urge, lechery, lasciviousness, concupiscence, horniness, the hots, randiness, and Lustful as immodest, wanton, impure, dirty, prurient, erotic, passionate.

So then what is love?
And why is it what we all are looking for? Is that the reason we go in search of "love" because it is so undefinable? Or is there something more to it?

The Oxford Canadian Dictionary defines Love : sexual desire, sexual passion, intense feelings of deep affection, like very much
The Oxford Canadian Dictionary gives alternates for Love: doting, worship, yearning, delight, lust, passion, desire, ardour, idolize, infatuated, captivated by, have a taste for.

Less ways to describe the bigger of the two. Does this mean that it's not really love we are truly insearch for but infact lust?
Have we been unable to find the fairy tale because we are chasing the wrong dreams?
When we say "I Love You" should we really be saying "I am in Lust with you"?

If the only difference between in love and in lust is a few degrees then it's no wonder so many people get hurt. It's no wonder so many people end up with mixed messages and bad break ups. We were thinking we'd found the love of our life when maybe all we found was the lust of the moment.

When is it love?

Originally posted this on my main blog Feb 11th 2010

Lust vs Love

Last year I broke down the two words in my post When is it love?
Well, I'm back on the topic once again. Then again when am I not?

Those of you who read me on a regular basis know that I believe in soulmates. Not only do I, but that I am working the Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford.

I have been a big follower of her's since I read Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Lover. In that book, she compiled true stories of soulmates who found each other.
No matter what religion, what career, what background or spiritual path they followed, all of the soulmate stories in Hot Chocolate, spoke of having found the love of their life in the same manner. All the couples had found each other by a vibe, or a dream, or a little voice, or a uncontrollable desire to be in a certain spot at a certain time. This is how they all knew they had found their One, their soulmates.

Beautiful, wonderful, it means there is hope for me yet.
Or does it?

I have no doubt in my mind the man I am suppose to spend the rest of my life with is out there, my One, my soulmate. I know he is.
What I don't know is how I will know when I have met him. Yes, I have joked on here before saying that since I have no interest at all in children; that I will know him when I met him and think of nothing but having babies. But, if I were to go by all the stories, and I do mean all 101 of the true life stories in Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Lovers, then I should have met him already, twice.

When I met The Trainwreck, I had been walking past a bar and had this tugging to go in with a voice that said "if you don't you will regret it for the rest of your life." He said he had something similar that night before going there too.
When I met Dargo, I had gotten a message from him on myspace and just as I was about to delete it I had a voice say "if you don't reply to him you will regret it for the rest of your life." And when we met in person the first time, he was coming up with reasons for us to get together before the first hour was even over.
Both big loves ,both year long relationships, both horrible heartbreaks.

How can I know for sure that the next time is really love and not just lust? Given I was wrong twice before, and both times I had the same exact reactions that all these true life success stories of soulmates, can I trust myself to know when "he's" really come into my life?

The best I suppose I can figure is that the guy will know me when he finds me.
And if you read over this blog at all, you know I fall in lust very easily. Hell, just this week alone I have fallen in and out of lust for Mr. Sabin about five times.

As you can see, this was a two part piece. I try to do that sometimes. But this is where my mind is most of the time. As I search for the guy, I try to figure out why along the way.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Where is Your Devotion?

Originally posted on my main blog and my pagan blog on Feb 10 2010

I rented a movie last night from iTunes Canada, Mistress of Spices. They had a bunch of romantic movies on special because of this weekend being Valentines.

Mistress of Spices is about a woman who has learned the art of herbs and their healing properties. When she meets a man who she falls in love with, she is forced to choose between her life so far and what he represents.

Of course I cried through the whole movie.

You realize right off the bat that the spices are her religion. It's where her faith lays. I think I cried as much for the love story part as I did for the realization that I have no such devotion.
I never have.
For me, the only thing that would come even sort of close would be writing. But still, there has not been one thing I have devoted myself to with such comfort and strength as the character in this story has. Yes it was one of those movies that makes you stop and think and check in with your soul. I hate it when that happens. I signed up for a sweet little romance with a for sure happy ending, instead I ended up with spiritual gut check.

There is a scene in this film where the lead character is in her shop praying in front of her alter asking the spices for advice. That nailed me to the quick. I have been Pagan now for 22 years, and have studied different spiritual paths just enough to be able to blend together my own path.
But, nothing over the years have given me anything solid that I feel I belong to.

Follow me.

I have never given myself over in total devotion to any one path. I find it simply fascinating when other people do, no matter what religion or spiritual path they follow.
When I meet people who are devoted wholly to something, I am always left in awe and wishing I could be that way.

This movie in very much in line with other magick-food movies like; Like Water for Chocolate, Simply Irresistible, Chocolat, Ramen Girl and Woman on Top. Which I have to say, above all are my favourite genre films. Movies that mix cooking with magick. Cause in the end, that's all it is really, recipes and spells are the same thing. It's what you put into them when making them that counts.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Don't Do This To Me

I have been looking since Friday like I do every week for last weeks episode of Impact.
iTunes Canada has become a full week behind. This morning there is a thing on the page that says "partial season".


How am I suppose to see the show now? How am I suppose to get screen shots for the column?

I know the shows get up loaded to youtube by people but they are grainy at best and as proof of last week, they don't always get the full show uploaded.
The official Spike Tv website are always late and the quality of the picture is grainy and I can't get screen shots or rewind or fast forward. And if too many fans are watching at once it is like a traffic jam that craps out the show. You end up having to start all over again. is just starting to get a following of fans for our review columns. And we are now down a WWE reporter. I'm doing this all on my own to the best of my ability.

TNA is the reason I started doing wrestling reviews to begin with. It's the only thing all week that is my down time from the stress of the rest of my life.

My regular readers on my main blog are Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley fans. They mostly hit that blog to see the screen captures of them.

This sucks. Just when everything was going so well, if iTunes Canada stops getting the show I'm frealed.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

How Tall Are You Really?

Originally posted on my main blog on Feb 5th 2010

I used screen captures for this post

Okay, so LAST WEEK's TNA Impact (Jan 28th 2010) was finally available for download, yes iTunes Canada is a full week late. I think they are doing it to drive me insane I really do.

First let me point you to a post I did few days ago about my distress at not finding men my own height. Dating 101 Tips From the Non Dating Guru Part 5

It seems the men have been right under my nose the whole time. In the X-Division right where I like them.

Now, we know that wrestlers are "billed" at heights that are a few inches taller then they really are, and I have no idea why. But none the less, this one has me blinking and scratching my skull as well as laughing out loud.
If you have a copy of the TNA video game from few years ago, you will find when you use certain characters they have their heights.
The MMG are billed as 5 foot 11 and 5 foot 10. (I can't remember which was suppose to be taller and I am too damned lazy to check)

Now, let me point you to a few screen shots from last week's episode (Jan 28th 2010) of TNA Impact. You will see that Brian Kendrick is billed as 5 foot 8.

You will also see that Mr. Sabin and Mr. Shelley are the same height.

Actually, you will see that Mr. Sabin looks shorter then Kendrick, and from past promos(Aug 6th 2009 screen capture) Mr. Shelley has always looked shorter then Mr. Sabin.

So my question is how tall are you boys really?

And why lie about your height that makes zero sense to me.

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Tribe

Tribe meaning a group of like minded people or family who support each other.

I am part of a few online support networks. Most of which I don't really fit in all that well. Let's get it all out on the chopping block shall we.

1) I am not married.

2) I am not a mommy

3) I am Pagan

4) I am a Vegetarian

5) I am a Canadian

6) I am a Total Non-Stop Action (TNA) fan

So all this means is that I am a single woman who openly practices a alternative religion gets physically ill at the very smell of meat cooking am very proud of being way up North and love the X-Division.

Like I said before, a lost member of the Addams Family or Munsters. Anyway, I thought I would try something. There is a tab at the top of this blog called "Tribe". What I was looking to do is see where I do fit.

And why do I want to do this?
Because I keep hearing lately about tribes, communities, networks and how in life we drift from one part to another. I have been trying to connect to people and seem to be doing a poor job of it. So here's a chance to try to see where I fit. I mean, there has to be some other lost members of the Addams Family floating around this big big big internet right?

So hit the Tribe link on the top, and leave me a comment on that post.

Posting Note

Its nearly 3pm on a Friday and I feel like I should be posting something.
Thou I really have nothing to say to day.
Normally I do my weekly TNA review in the morning on a Friday, but the show is not available yet on iTunes Canada this week. Hell, last week's show was only available this morning. A full week behind.
So, I am sitting here, circling the internet every 20minutes feeling like a goof. Like a fish in a bowl or something.

Okay, so this was a post for the sake of posting

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Never works

I have been working for the last few hours on a Facebook fan page for the wrestling blog
And so far, nothing is working right. I can't even get the damned "join " button to copy and paste right. I'm just hoping this does what it's suppose to and connects with the wrestling companies and wrestlers themselves.
It would be great if I could get some interviews.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Photo is by me, copyright hcvp '09
And originally posted on my other blog My Cup Is Empty on Aug 15th 2009

2 and 1/4 c flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 c butter softened
3/4 c white sugar
3/4 c brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 eggs
1 c chocolate chips
1 c of white bakers chocolate chunks
Mix flour/soda/salt in one bowl
Beat butter/white sugar/brown sugar/vanilla into another bowl
add eggs
mix the dry into the wet
stir in chocolate chunks/chips
drop rounded spoonfuls into Ungreased tray

Bake 375 ' F for 10 minutes
Makes 5 dozen

Also posted this on my cooking blog My Newfie Kitchen

What Would Elvira Do? Feb 2nd 2010

If you follow me on my other sites, you know I sometimes refer to Jane Austen and Sex and the City when things are going wonky in my life.

Well, there was a time I used to ask "What would Elvira Do?"
(that was before SATC and be becoming a Jane Austen fan)
And think it only fair to ask that again here.

Today's burning question is "What do I need to do about my career?" So I grabbed the book Camp Vamp and randomly flipping to a page using bibliomancy (randomly flipping to a page in a book and using the first sentence you see as divination) for my answer.

after what seemed an eternity, we stopped for lunch on the top of a small ridge with sweeping views of the shimmering blue reservoir below. page 71

Now to decode that into something that makes sense. This could take awhile.

It's not the journey that counts it's the destination... no wait maybe it's the other way around, not the destination but the journey? Maybe it's telling me I have made it to this point and not to give up just yet cause when it's time the results will be better then I thought?
Hmmm. It mentioned lunch. That is the second time I have done a "WWED?" in a row and it's mentioned food. Here is the last WWED
Maybe I need to have a meeting over lunch with someone? Seriously, this is harder to decode then last time.

I think I got it this time. I need to stop over thinking it. That's what it is telling me. Just go with the flow. I can't control everything all the time as much as I want to, I just can't.
The process is a long haul but the results are worth it.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Why can't I ?

Just having a conversation with a friend, and I made a comment about one of the many crushes I have. The friend told me that my hopes are high and to get over it.
I was shocked. This is a person who is always talking about how anything can happen. This actually hurt.

My family was never the best at communication. My dad was famous for breaking promises and lying. Mom's way of dealing with anything was to order takeaway and go shopping. I was a fat kid with the best toy collection in the neighbourhood.
Material things mean crap to me. Emotional things mean everything.

Why her comment hurt just now was because she told me that what I want on an emotional level is "ridiculous and will never happen you're just not good enough."

Just not good enough. Something I have heard too much over the years. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, not talented enough, not good enough.

Just when you thought you got over your emotional baggage someone dumps some more on you.

And it's February

I used a screen capture for this post

Last night was a wrestling pay per view. WWE.
I normally don't much care for WWE, I am a TNA fan, but I do have this thing for the wrestler Sheamus. So, I was very happy to hear he won his match last night.
Friend of mine, who seems to have a big hate on for the white knight, kept making little jibs about the match. Don't understand why she is always so negative. And coming from me, that is really saying something.