Coffins and Cookies

And that concludes our Programming day

2010-04-19T19:51:00.003-04:00

Okay, I did it. Bit the bullet and have created ONE blog for everything. And anyone who doesn't like all my topics well I will now quote wrestler James Storm.... Sorry about your Damned luck.

So the new blog is DOMESTIC AND DAMNED

I feel better. Less chaotic.
Keeping all the others as archives. And of course updating the wrestling blog on a bi-weekly still cause that's the one I'm hoping to turn into a business at some point.

So yeah, you can now follow me on Domestic and Damned.

Creeping Screams!

You ever feel like this after a hard day?

2010-04-18T08:51:00.002-04:00

I know I have this youtube at the bottom of my blog but I just thought I would try to get back to the original idea of this blog.

Differnt blogs for different topics

2010-04-17T13:07:00.000-04:00

I asked this question on SITS network on BlogFrog,   and have gotten a few replies, all saying they are in the same boat.

Having done one blog and needing to break it up into a different blog for each topic, or the other way around having started many blogs and now looking to combine.

I've stated my reasoning for breaking mine up in the past,   -wrestling fans not interested in the books, bookworms not interested in the cooking, foodies not interested in the relationships, pagans not interested in the vampire fiction etc- But now, it's gotten to be too much.

And just the other post on here, I talked about how I had wanted this to be the new main blog combining everything.   I'm still tossing this idea around.
So let me ask you all,   do you have one blog or one for each topic?   If you have many how do you keep up with them? And if you have one, how do you keep everyone interested without offending anyone?

What am I doing here?

2010-04-16T22:22:00.000-04:00

Okay, so it seemed I lied. Or more like I tried and failed.   I said I would get to everyone's blog this week and well, I made it to 2.
Yes I know I am a bad bad bad blog friend. I'll take my punishment and sit in the corner for a few days.

So, I had an eye doctor's appointment today, he put drops in my eyes, checked my glasses and told me that my lenses are too strong.    What? Huh? How?   I've had these for 5 years how could they be too strong?   That explains the headaches. Great, I can't afford new ones.
So, then there was me stumbling around like a crazed zombie for the rest of the day cause the drops took away my depth perception and I could not wear my glasses. My left eye is still not back to normal yet.

Weird stuff happening on the social blog network I am part of.   Enough of us non-mommies complained and now, we're getting our own non-mommy group. One small step for women one giant step for .... women. When I told my buddy he said "you'll just get that started and poof you'll get knocked up."    I told him if he cursed me by that then not only will I hunt him down and rip his off, I'll put him as the daddy on the birth certificate. Which you know would be a feat as I've never met him off line. He's a blogger buddy.

So, here I have been feeling guilty about not getting around to my horror site/vampire fan site in the last few months, and it seems it doesn't matter. Cause, Ning.com is removing all free sites. Yes folks, if you created a site and are only on the free program, you can either bump to a pay program or loose your site. I will be loosing mine as I can not afford to pay for their services.

And I'm going to share a few blog posts now that I originally posted over on my main blog... well the link cause to be honest I'm lazy and just don't want to retype it or even cut and paste.

Oh eye candy.

Skip to my loo

2010-04-12T09:52:00.003-04:00

This is what happens when you have too many empties and not enough room on the truck.

That's and old quote from SCTV 's Great White North skits back 30 years ago (oh my god! the 80's were 30 years ago already)
Or in my case, too many blogs and not enough hours in the day. You have all read about my main blog, and my pagan blog, and the book blog and the vampire blog and my wrestling blog and the cooking blog. (all under my other account)
This; as I said before, was suppose to be a new one to combine all the others so I could weed them out. And of course, they got popular the second I decided that.
My blogs are like children to me and I keep creating more. So for the time being, I'm focusing on the other one on this account which cause of the networking I'm trying to do, is less Addams Family.

I just finished posting yesterday on there about Cumin being smelly. Which it is.
Okay, so I have a new column for the wrestling blog, a stack of books I have not finished reading for the book blog, the pressure from the landlord cause he is raising the rent and I can't afford to live here as it is or move for that matter, and am working on chapter 3 of my novel. If I still have internet after the end of the month I'll be amazed. Well, I suppose it all depends on how much he raises the rent.

Okay, that's my pathetic-ness for the day. 10 am on a Monday and just having first coffee of the day now. So I'll be over on this blog here for a few days or so. And if I have not been to your blog in the last while, I am sorry as I have been a bad blog friend. But I will get there sometime this week.

Don't even think about it

2010-04-03T10:38:00.004-04:00

It's been another crazy and slightly bad week.
I had to change the ending of my novel because well the ending sucked. So now I need to restructure the entire plot to fit the new ending. That will only take an extra month or so I figure. Not like I'm on a deadline or anything.

Oh wait, I am.

My favourite tag team has started to blog. Some of it good, some of it random. I mean really random. Which has opened up a whole new theory and set of topics with my buddies. You can read about some of it here

This blog, was suppose to be my get away blog. The blog I was building to replace my main one on my other account. Somehow, things didn't work out that way. I seem to have lost me again. Which is happening alot lately. I'm having a mid life crisis or something. I'm not even sure. I just know I've managed to gain 4 pounds this week from all the cooking I've been doing. Spending more time sitting in the kitchen, cooking, reading, and just not thinking. Not dealing with anything. Bad I know. Maybe that's what the 4 of Swords has been trying to tell me for the last month. Rest. Rest and regroup. For what I have no idea.

I just keep thinking about the scene in Under the Tuscan Sun when she buys the house. The fact everything points to the house. I guess I am just waiting for some sort of sign to point me to whatever my "house" is suppose to be right now.

Thought for the day

2010-03-29T10:14:00.003-04:00

What you resist will persist.

I make it no secret I have no plans on ever having kids. Not my thing.

Yet, I can't help but wonder why

All my friends are mommies
When I stayed with friends while back while out of town, I got thrown dead center into her Mommy and Me group the whole time.
The mommy blogger has taken over.
The mommy movie has become a genre all it's own.
The Empress card, the 9 of Pentacles card, the Queen of Pentacles card - all pregnancy cards- keep popping up in readings.

Well, I suppose if the Universe wants me to have a kid at some point, it will happen. So I guess I must just relax and say okay fine. Enough throwing me to the mommies.

I need a new editor

2010-03-23T10:26:00.003-04:00

You've heard me say I'm working on my novel. I am ready to start draft 3. My editor is good for an American. I sent a copy of my novel to my friend's mom who is a retired English teacher. She read to chapter 5 and refused to go any further. Her reason, my choice of language. I tend to be very liberal with the words f**k, d**k, tits, etc.

I have no issues with this. But, now, I might be without any editor.

Whind Down

2010-03-18T22:03:00.004-04:00

It's Thursday night, and I'm feeling like I am spinning in circles.

The landlord finally fixed my oven, or I should say he stood there and told his son what to do to fix it. Not that it was that difficult, a trained monkey could have done it. I could have done it. But the landlord wouldn't let me. Seriously. He showed up with the coil in his hand, said he had a bad back and would do it in the morning. I said can I just install the new coil myself.
No, he wanted to do it himself. Then half hour later showed up with his son and less then 10 minutes after that my oven was fixed.
It only took him 5 days.

I have so many blogs, and a few accounts. My mind is reeling. I know I need to shut some of them down, but I just can't.
The whole reason I started this account with this blog and The Year I Lived Off Of Ramen Noodles is because I have one follower/friend/business partner who subscribes to all my other blogs. I had no where to vent about the crap they put me through all the time.
And just as I was starting to get comfy on my cooking blog again, they decided to practically sit on that one. Every second hit on the hits tracker for the cooking blog is that person. So, no relaxing on there and doing anything other then food stuff.

I can't win.

And my Editor... I have not heard anything from my editor in almost a week. I have no idea what is going on right now.

I just want one spot to be able to combine all my blogging topics without having to worry who I piss off and not have to worry about loosing readers because they did not like one of my topics.
It's just so damned confusing and tiring having to jump around the internet all day long.

okay, that's the rant for this week.

One of those weeks

2010-03-14T20:49:00.004-04:00

My editor has changed the way one character talks. This changes their personality, which changes their story arch.
I'm not happy.

My oven blew a coil last night. 3 of the elements are not working. My landlord is away for the week and I can't even tell him the oven is dead. I have no oven and only one small back burner on the stove top working.
I'm not happy

The pipes in the bathroom every spring back up. Now the kitchen sink has started to do the same thing. I went to do my dishes this morning and found water sitting there and the sink clogged. I know I did not leave water in my sink this last few days. I had a tantrum and threw out all my dishes that were sitting in the sink. I did eventually get the clog out but the pipes are still being a bitch.
I am really not happy.

I hate living here. Ever since this landlord took over this place has become a semi-slum. I can't afford to move, and now I need to buy new dishes.

Corey Haim Dead at 38

2010-03-10T21:54:00.003-05:00

I was shocked when I read that this afternoon it was announced actor Corey Haim had died.
He was always a favourite actor, and the Lost Boys is my all time favourite movie.

I remember watching him on the tv show Edison Twins, which was a big Canadian show back in the early 80's. It was an interesting mix between a drama and an educational show.

I also loved his character of Dinger from the Dream a Little Dream movies.

What are your passions

2010-03-05T12:02:00.003-05:00

Passions.
Everyone has one or two or you know. Or so we are told.

What happens when you get to a point in your life and you ask "what now?"

That seems to be the crossroads I am at. What now?

I find myself spinning in circles not knowing what I want or if I even want anything. I am covering everything here, my location, my hobbies, my friends, everything.

I don't have any idea what to do to even start trying to find the answers. I tried doing the Julie/Julia thing last summer with my cooking blog but that hit a few roadblocks. I was hoping to have a big A-HA moment from it. Still waiting for that moment to come.

You and your man....purse

2010-03-01T14:03:00.003-05:00

I actually hate that term. Man Purse. But it is better then the Murse.
Its a bag. Mini briefcase, tote, satchel, or my favourite the messengers bag. What do you boys carry in them?

I've had guys in high school actually steal my purse, dump it's contents on the floor in the class just cause they wanted to know what the hell us girls carried around all the time that would need a purse. That was over 20 years ago.

The tables are turned and we women want to know what you men are carrying around that a basic briefcase just won't do for anymore.

So come on spill tell me what's in your bag guys.

Haunted by cards

2010-02-26T09:36:00.005-05:00

I am a tarot junkie.
I do daily readings for myself both online and in the real world. I have been collecting tarot decks now for over 20 years. I have 22 decks at this time and always looking for more.

One of my favourite sites is 78Notes to Self I have been a reader of that blog now since the blogger started up.

I also post on my pagan blog and my main blog sometimes when I have a card that seems to be really trying to tell me something. What I mean by that is when I get the same card over and over again for weeks sometimes months at a time showing up in my readings. I will then sit down, pour over every image of the card I can find (as all decks are different) and compare the meanings from each deck and the emotions each version causes in me. Sometimes, I'll understand what they are trying to tell me, sometimes I walk away more clueless then before.
This is one of those clueless moments.

I have been getting the Knight of Swords card in every reading, and I mean every reading for the last week. No matter what deck I use, no matter how much I shuffle no matter if I use the online sites or real decks. The damned Knight of Swords just won't go away.

It's a card of strife, of spies, of uncovering the truth, of arguments, of fear and just not giving a damn.

Yes, I have been having issues with a male friend and this could be representing him/the situation. It could also be the last situation I was in last fall with the local writer who after I worked with her on her promotion, everyone told me not to trust her. This could be a health issue. It could also be something I have not experienced yet but is on the way. It could represent a new boyfriend or business partner.

See, confusing.

The suite of Swords is an Air element card. The Knight of Swords is a Fire element character.
You got that?
Air elements are normally thinking issues. Fire elements are normally passions. So this card is telling me something that is a mix of my passions and thoughts.
This I am guessing would make him my Fear card? See, confusing.

But I am thinking of doing a more steady series of tarot posts soon. If for nothing else, to share some of my favourite decks.

I laughed myself into a choking fit

2010-02-25T09:21:00.005-05:00

I was sitting here with a cup of coffee and listening to a Twiztid cd and the craziest thought came to my mind.

Couldn't you just picture Twiztid on the Martha Stewart show? I could not stop laughing.
Think about it, they could do one of the Halloween shows with her. Monoxide could paint her face up in the Twiztid zombie that is their trademark and Maddrox could help her make a batch of batshaped cookies with double chocolate frosting.
That's a show I would watch over and over. Think of the internet roll over it would have on every youtube out there.

Then my imagination really got scary. I was thinking what about Violent J ;on the Oprah show?
On one of her episodes of her favourite things where she always gives out gifts, normally at Christmas. She always has a musical guest preform. Violent J could do a version of "Santa Claus is a Fat Bitch" or better yet, "Pyromaniac" then light the stage on fire or something. And you know the part of the show when Oprah tells everyone to look under their seat cause they are going home with the latest cd and other gifts. They could have large rubber butcher knives with fake blood splatters.

Yeah, I found these ideas funny. I laughed so hard, I not only fell off the sofa, but started to choke on my coffee.
But that's clowns for you eh?

Actually, The idea of Twiztid on a Halloween episode of the Martha Stewart show is not that bad.
Violent J, on the Oprah show... that would be a touchy one. Unless, of course, she was promoting his biography for book club or something. Now, that I could half way see.

What, I have high hopes okay.

Did I hurt you?

2010-02-22T13:44:00.003-05:00

Originally posted on my main blog on Feb 20th 2010

I used a screen capture for this post

This morning my friend's husband said to me "have you ever thought you hurt the feelings of that Alex guy from you contently talking about the one with the hair?"

Actually no I have never thought about that.

Friend's husband continued " what about the rest of the guys? What about how they feel reading your blog for your reviews and seeing all the extra stuff on that hair guy?"

Well that made me think.
Okay so maybe the rest of the X-Division would be feeling left out from me not spending single posts on them. From a press point of view, I could understand that. And I will say sorry for that.

But as far as Alex Shelley goes, from the promo they did back in the summer (Aug 20th 2009 episode) where they were making fun of their fans being lazy, um no. I think it would take a hell of a lot more then me to hurt his feelings.

Thou he does look sweet and vulnerable in this one photo. It does make you want to take him home and cook for him.

If you would like to read the original with comments go here

Im the Vampire that's Why- by Michele Bardsley

2010-02-18T10:02:00.002-05:00

Originally posted on my vampire blog on Feb 8th 2010

Book #1 in the Broken Heart Oklahoma series.

Plot: Jessica is a single mom, widowed after her husband was killed in a car accident. As she is taking out the trash she's attacked by a creature and killed.
Only, Jessica doesn't die, she gets turned into a vampire. Not only is she now dealing with being one of 11 towns people who were turned that night, she has to deal with being the soul mate of one of the oldest vampires ever. Imagine, finding out you are a vampire, the soul mate of a Irish vampire prince and still having to make the weekly PTA meetings at your children's school.

I stumbled on this book one afternoon while at the mall. I had never heard of it before, but it was on a big book sale bin at christmas time. So glad I picked it up. I was looking for something "easy" to read this weekend and spotting it on my "To Read" pile picked it up. I could not put it down. I devoured this novel in just over a day. It's anything but "easy".
You are tossed back and forth slightly between the images of a modern mother and a 1950's mom. Jessica is a very realistic character who could very easily be telling you her story over coffee as to being a fictional vampire. The Irish folklore is weaved in; to perfection as you go deeper into the lives of the now vampire clan that the lead character has been thrust into.

It was a laugh out loud book, with moments that had me repeating the lines to myself as I made coffee on the rare moments I put the book down. And bonus for us fans out there of The Prince Bride (it's referenced and quoted more then once) and Remington Steele (all the males in the O'Halloran clan look like Pierce Brosnan)

The writing is witty, smart, fun and erotic. I went looking online to find there are 5 more in the series which I need to get as soon as possible.

For the Dead Travel Fast

2010-02-15T11:06:00.004-05:00

Or you know not.

Let me explain myself alittle. I have been a fan of vampires my entire life. I have driving my friends and family nuts with my obsession for all things vampire.

I have one whole blog and two ning sites dedicated to the topic (a vampire ning site and a horror ning site)

I have a collection of movies, books, posters, candle holders, dolls, etc of vampire items.
I started an all vampire challenge after having done an all Jane Austen challenge last year, and seeing that the two genres were starting to mix. I was seeing vampire book blogs everywhere and thought it was a brilliant idea. Thought it would bring in a ton of people and we would get exposed to some new to you vampire books/movies.

I was wrong.

It brought in 4 people. And one person in the challenge did nothing by write poetry, while the others only watched/read Twilight and Vampire Diaries. No one contributed anything different.
I still have another 2 and a half months on the challenge but I am not holding my breath on anything new coming in.

Sad really when you think of it. I was told I was a head of my time. I loved vampires before they became so mainstream, now you can't suplex a wrestler without hitting a vampire freak.

My biggest pet peeve on the topic, are people who keep saying Vampire Diaries is too much like Twilight. This pisses me off to no end. I'll tell you why, VD were written over 20 years ago. A good 16 years before Twilight was written. (whole other rant) I loved the original Vampire Diaries when I was in high school. Have to admit, have not seen the tv show, but love the fact the books have gotten a re-issue in the last two years.

Somewhere around the year the first Underworld movie came out (2003) I started to drift way from the vampire genre. Not on purpose. Just what happened in my life. And of course it mushroomed into the media darling it is now. Part of me is glad I distanced myself from it for a few years, part of me wished I had hung on for dear life fangs first.
There is too much to try to keep up with in the genre. Movies are one thing, but books are very much another. Too many writers are in the mix.

Here is my vampire blog Alucard's Rose

I can't get into this

2010-02-15T10:03:00.003-05:00

I've said before I try to get to all the blogs I follow a couple of times a week.
I can't seem to keep up with everyone right now. Not good.

On my main blog, I had a comment today from someone who it seems has been a long time reader, but never commented before. Here, I have been writing with the thought most of my readers were men (all the wrestling reviews I do) when it ends up I have a stack of female readers on that blog.

Okay, awkward.

I'm suppose to have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, but we just had a heavy storm here and I'm snowed/iced in. Had to call and try to change the appointment, only all I got was a voice mail. So waiting for the doctor's to call back.

My Jane Austen group was reading Emma for the month of January. I just could not get into the mood. Still can't, and they have moved on to the next book. So I am two books behind and just not feeling it.

Which brings me to my own novel. I need to work on it some more before I can send it to the editor. Only, I could care less right now. That is really really bad.

What a way to start off the Chinese New Year- Year of the Tiger. Feeling lifeless and tired.

Love? Lust? Or .....

2010-02-12T11:11:00.005-05:00

Originally posted this on my main blog on June 15th 2009

When is it Love?

What is love?

Lust has been easy to define, hate has been too, but love is that strange thing in between that has never been able to be defined.

The Oxford Canadian Dictionary defines Lust : strong sexual desire, a passionate desire for, having a strong or excessive desire.
The Oxford Canadian Thesaurus gives alternates for Lust: sexual desire, sexual appetite, sexual longing, ardour, desire, passion, libido, sex drive, sexuality, biological urge, lechery, lasciviousness, concupiscence, horniness, the hots, randiness, and Lustful as immodest, wanton, impure, dirty, prurient, erotic, passionate.

So then what is love?
And why is it what we all are looking for? Is that the reason we go in search of "love" because it is so undefinable? Or is there something more to it?

The Oxford Canadian Dictionary defines Love : sexual desire, sexual passion, intense feelings of deep affection, like very much
The Oxford Canadian Dictionary gives alternates for Love: doting, worship, yearning, delight, lust, passion, desire, ardour, idolize, infatuated, captivated by, have a taste for.

Less ways to describe the bigger of the two. Does this mean that it's not really love we are truly insearch for but infact lust?
Have we been unable to find the fairy tale because we are chasing the wrong dreams?
When we say "I Love You" should we really be saying "I am in Lust with you"?

If the only difference between in love and in lust is a few degrees then it's no wonder so many people get hurt. It's no wonder so many people end up with mixed messages and bad break ups. We were thinking we'd found the love of our life when maybe all we found was the lust of the moment.

When is it love?

Originally posted this on my main blog Feb 11th 2010

Lust vs Love

Last year I broke down the two words in my post When is it love?
Well, I'm back on the topic once again. Then again when am I not?

Those of you who read me on a regular basis know that I believe in soulmates. Not only do I, but that I am working the Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford.

I have been a big follower of her's since I read Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Lover. In that book, she compiled true stories of soulmates who found each other.
No matter what religion, what career, what background or spiritual path they followed, all of the soulmate stories in Hot Chocolate, spoke of having found the love of their life in the same manner. All the couples had found each other by a vibe, or a dream, or a little voice, or a uncontrollable desire to be in a certain spot at a certain time. This is how they all knew they had found their One, their soulmates.

Beautiful, wonderful, it means there is hope for me yet.
Or does it?

I have no doubt in my mind the man I am suppose to spend the rest of my life with is out there, my One, my soulmate. I know he is.
What I don't know is how I will know when I have met him. Yes, I have joked on here before saying that since I have no interest at all in children; that I will know him when I met him and think of nothing but having babies. But, if I were to go by all the stories, and I do mean all 101 of the true life stories in Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Lovers, then I should have met him already, twice.

When I met The Trainwreck, I had been walking past a bar and had this tugging to go in with a voice that said "if you don't you will regret it for the rest of your life." He said he had something similar that night before going there too.
When I met Dargo, I had gotten a message from him on myspace and just as I was about to delete it I had a voice say "if you don't reply to him you will regret it for the rest of your life." And when we met in person the first time, he was coming up with reasons for us to get together before the first hour was even over.
Both big loves ,both year long relationships, both horrible heartbreaks.

How can I know for sure that the next time is really love and not just lust? Given I was wrong twice before, and both times I had the same exact reactions that all these true life success stories of soulmates, can I trust myself to know when "he's" really come into my life?

The best I suppose I can figure is that the guy will know me when he finds me.
And if you read over this blog at all, you know I fall in lust very easily. Hell, just this week alone I have fallen in and out of lust for Mr. Sabin about five times.

As you can see, this was a two part piece. I try to do that sometimes. But this is where my mind is most of the time. As I search for the guy, I try to figure out why along the way.

Where is Your Devotion?

2010-02-10T16:10:00.003-05:00

Originally posted on my main blog and my pagan blog on Feb 10 2010

I rented a movie last night from iTunes Canada, Mistress of Spices. They had a bunch of romantic movies on special because of this weekend being Valentines.

Mistress of Spices is about a woman who has learned the art of herbs and their healing properties. When she meets a man who she falls in love with, she is forced to choose between her life so far and what he represents.

Of course I cried through the whole movie.

You realize right off the bat that the spices are her religion. It's where her faith lays. I think I cried as much for the love story part as I did for the realization that I have no such devotion.
I never have.
For me, the only thing that would come even sort of close would be writing. But still, there has not been one thing I have devoted myself to with such comfort and strength as the character in this story has. Yes it was one of those movies that makes you stop and think and check in with your soul. I hate it when that happens. I signed up for a sweet little romance with a for sure happy ending, instead I ended up with spiritual gut check.

There is a scene in this film where the lead character is in her shop praying in front of her alter asking the spices for advice. That nailed me to the quick. I have been Pagan now for 22 years, and have studied different spiritual paths just enough to be able to blend together my own path.
But, nothing over the years have given me anything solid that I feel I belong to.

Follow me.

I have never given myself over in total devotion to any one path. I find it simply fascinating when other people do, no matter what religion or spiritual path they follow.
When I meet people who are devoted wholly to something, I am always left in awe and wishing I could be that way.

This movie in very much in line with other magick-food movies like; Like Water for Chocolate, Simply Irresistible, Chocolat, Ramen Girl and Woman on Top. Which I have to say, above all are my favourite genre films. Movies that mix cooking with magick. Cause in the end, that's all it is really, recipes and spells are the same thing. It's what you put into them when making them that counts.

Don't Do This To Me

2010-02-09T08:42:00.003-05:00

I have been looking since Friday like I do every week for last weeks episode of Impact.
iTunes Canada has become a full week behind. This morning there is a thing on the page that says "partial season".

No!

How am I suppose to see the show now? How am I suppose to get screen shots for the column?

I know the shows get up loaded to youtube by people but they are grainy at best and as proof of last week, they don't always get the full show uploaded.
The official Spike Tv website are always late and the quality of the picture is grainy and I can't get screen shots or rewind or fast forward. And if too many fans are watching at once it is like a traffic jam that craps out the show. You end up having to start all over again.

BlindTag.com is just starting to get a following of fans for our review columns. And we are now down a WWE reporter. I'm doing this all on my own to the best of my ability.

TNA is the reason I started doing wrestling reviews to begin with. It's the only thing all week that is my down time from the stress of the rest of my life.

My regular readers on my main blog are Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley fans. They mostly hit that blog to see the screen captures of them.

This sucks. Just when everything was going so well, if iTunes Canada stops getting the show I'm frealed.

How Tall Are You Really?

2010-02-07T09:41:00.002-05:00

Originally posted on my main blog on Feb 5th 2010

I used screen captures for this post

Okay, so LAST WEEK's TNA Impact (Jan 28th 2010) was finally available for download, yes iTunes Canada is a full week late. I think they are doing it to drive me insane I really do.

First let me point you to a post I did few days ago about my distress at not finding men my own height. Dating 101 Tips From the Non Dating Guru Part 5

It seems the men have been right under my nose the whole time. In the X-Division right where I like them.

Now, we know that wrestlers are "billed" at heights that are a few inches taller then they really are, and I have no idea why. But none the less, this one has me blinking and scratching my skull as well as laughing out loud.
If you have a copy of the TNA video game from few years ago, you will find when you use certain characters they have their heights.
The MMG are billed as 5 foot 11 and 5 foot 10. (I can't remember which was suppose to be taller and I am too damned lazy to check)

Now, let me point you to a few screen shots from last week's episode (Jan 28th 2010) of TNA Impact. You will see that Brian Kendrick is billed as 5 foot 8.

You will also see that Mr. Sabin and Mr. Shelley are the same height.

Actually, you will see that Mr. Sabin looks shorter then Kendrick, and from past promos(Aug 6th 2009 screen capture) Mr. Shelley has always looked shorter then Mr. Sabin.

So my question is how tall are you boys really?

And why lie about your height that makes zero sense to me.

The Tribe

2010-02-05T17:52:00.005-05:00

Tribe meaning a group of like minded people or family who support each other.

I am part of a few online support networks. Most of which I don't really fit in all that well. Let's get it all out on the chopping block shall we.

1) I am not married.

2) I am not a mommy

3) I am Pagan

4) I am a Vegetarian

5) I am a Canadian

6) I am a Total Non-Stop Action (TNA) fan

So all this means is that I am a single woman who openly practices a alternative religion gets physically ill at the very smell of meat cooking am very proud of being way up North and love the X-Division.

Like I said before, a lost member of the Addams Family or Munsters. Anyway, I thought I would try something. There is a tab at the top of this blog called "Tribe". What I was looking to do is see where I do fit.

And why do I want to do this?
Because I keep hearing lately about tribes, communities, networks and how in life we drift from one part to another. I have been trying to connect to people and seem to be doing a poor job of it. So here's a chance to try to see where I fit. I mean, there has to be some other lost members of the Addams Family floating around this big big big internet right?

So hit the Tribe link on the top, and leave me a comment on that post.

Posting Note

2010-02-05T14:51:00.004-05:00

Its nearly 3pm on a Friday and I feel like I should be posting something.
Thou I really have nothing to say to day.
Normally I do my weekly TNA review in the morning on a Friday, but the show is not available yet on iTunes Canada this week. Hell, last week's show was only available this morning. A full week behind.
So, I am sitting here, circling the internet every 20minutes feeling like a goof. Like a fish in a bowl or something.

Okay, so this was a post for the sake of posting

Never works

2010-02-03T22:16:00.004-05:00

I have been working for the last few hours on a Facebook fan page for the wrestling blog
And so far, nothing is working right. I can't even get the damned "join " button to copy and paste right. I'm just hoping this does what it's suppose to and connects with the wrestling companies and wrestlers themselves.
It would be great if I could get some interviews.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

2010-02-02T11:41:00.001-05:00

Photo is by me, copyright hcvp '09
And originally posted on my other blog My Cup Is Empty on Aug 15th 2009

2 and 1/4 c flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 c butter softened
3/4 c white sugar
3/4 c brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 eggs
1 c chocolate chips
1 c of white bakers chocolate chunks
Mix flour/soda/salt in one bowl
Beat butter/white sugar/brown sugar/vanilla into another bowl
add eggs
mix the dry into the wet
stir in chocolate chunks/chips
drop rounded spoonfuls into Ungreased tray

Bake 375 ' F for 10 minutes
Makes 5 dozen

Also posted this on my cooking blog My Newfie Kitchen

What Would Elvira Do? Feb 2nd 2010

2010-02-02T09:50:00.009-05:00

If you follow me on my other sites, you know I sometimes refer to Jane Austen and Sex and the City when things are going wonky in my life.

Well, there was a time I used to ask "What would Elvira Do?"
(that was before SATC and be becoming a Jane Austen fan)
And think it only fair to ask that again here.

Today's burning question is "What do I need to do about my career?" So I grabbed the book Camp Vamp and randomly flipping to a page using bibliomancy (randomly flipping to a page in a book and using the first sentence you see as divination) for my answer.

after what seemed an eternity, we stopped for lunch on the top of a small ridge with sweeping views of the shimmering blue reservoir below. page 71

Now to decode that into something that makes sense. This could take awhile.

It's not the journey that counts it's the destination... no wait maybe it's the other way around, not the destination but the journey? Maybe it's telling me I have made it to this point and not to give up just yet cause when it's time the results will be better then I thought?
Hmmm. It mentioned lunch. That is the second time I have done a "WWED?" in a row and it's mentioned food. Here is the last WWED
Maybe I need to have a meeting over lunch with someone? Seriously, this is harder to decode then last time.

I think I got it this time. I need to stop over thinking it. That's what it is telling me. Just go with the flow. I can't control everything all the time as much as I want to, I just can't.
The process is a long haul but the results are worth it.

Why can't I ?

2010-02-01T15:06:00.005-05:00

Just having a conversation with a friend, and I made a comment about one of the many crushes I have. The friend told me that my hopes are high and to get over it.

I was shocked. This is a person who is always talking about how anything can happen. This actually hurt.

My family was never the best at communication. My dad was famous for breaking promises and lying. Mom's way of dealing with anything was to order takeaway and go shopping. I was a fat kid with the best toy collection in the neighbourhood.

Material things mean crap to me. Emotional things mean everything.

Why her comment hurt just now was because she told me that what I want on an emotional level is "ridiculous and will never happen you're just not good enough."

Just not good enough. Something I have heard too much over the years. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, not talented enough, not good enough.

Just when you thought you got over your emotional baggage someone dumps some more on you.

And it's February

2010-02-01T13:43:00.003-05:00

I used a screen capture for this post

Last night was a wrestling pay per view. WWE.

I normally don't much care for WWE, I am a TNA fan, but I do have this thing for the wrestler Sheamus. So, I was very happy to hear he won his match last night.

Friend of mine, who seems to have a big hate on for the white knight, kept making little jibs about the match. Don't understand why she is always so negative. And coming from me, that is really saying something.

But I am huge in Europe

2010-01-31T10:58:00.006-05:00

I used a screen capture for this post

You know how in bad tv shows and movies someone always says "No one knows the band here but I am huge in Europe and Japan". No matter what you are watching; how lame the show is that will always get a laugh.

Well guess what my main blogs are huge in Europe and Japan. Not so much Mexico, but that's okay.
I do have a nice following outside of my city. No one in my city reads my stuff. Thank god. But, I am fairly well read in other areas of Canada. And I will tell you why.
It's not because of me at all. No one comes to my blog to read about me, they come to my blogs for my reviews and my weekly columns. Mostly to see if I posted a cute screen shot of Chris Sabin.

It's always cool to see the odd reader has bookmarked me from India or Japan. It's when the hits tracker lists them as reading something other then my weekly wrestling column or book reviews that makes my breath catch and my pulse race. But that is rare so I just go with the flow.
Some of my relationship posts have been getting a few bumps the last few weeks, but I think that is cause we are heading into Valentines Day and everyone is thinking about relationships in general.

I know I said

2010-01-30T15:29:00.003-05:00

I know I said on my main blog few days ago I am not really one for twitter, okay it was a rant who am I kidding, and I don't really use the one I have now for much other then the odd book giveaway and my weekly TNA review day update, but I have decided for the new blog The Year I Lived Off Of Ramen Noodles, to have a twitter for it.
I decided this because... well honestly I don't have a good reason at all.
But it is a different account for a different group of readers.
I am now about to confuse myself so let the games begin.

How's that working for you

2010-01-29T10:32:00.004-05:00

I am trying to be less bitchy and negative on my blogs. As it was pointed out to me by my friend's husband while back that I have more rants of the week then I do days in the week.
Well, it's painful actually. I've never been the hearts and flowers type. I'm not comfortable in the role of happy go lucky. Just not me.
But, still would be nice to have readers for my other topics other then Chris Sabin's hair.

Oh and ps new blog here just a little something I am trying on for size

Is this the new breed in blogs?

2010-01-28T13:37:00.005-05:00

My buddy Patrick is a single dad. Sort of.
His aunt died last summer and he got custody of his cousin. He's finding it really difficult at 28 and suddenly "daddy".
I suggested to him that maybe he should do a blog, as it might generate some help. He refuses to. Said he doesn't have the knack for blogging.

What I have seen the daddy bloggers are on an up rise. So many guys are choosing to stay at home and raise the kids, or are single dads. The landscape wasn't like this even 6 years ago when I started on the internet.

It's cause you are a Singleton

2010-01-28T11:31:00.005-05:00

I just could not figure it out. Why when I go around to other people's blogs and leave my footprints in the form of comments and show up on their hits trackers, why do I not get any love in return?
And then my friends husband said "Cause you are not a mommy. You don't have an online business really and you don't have kids."
I paused for a second. My friend laughing her husband continued. "Well, you said yourself that like 85% of the bloggers are stay at home moms or web designers or people trying to break into the cooking business. And the other 15% are either sex blogs or review blogs. So you got to think that you are in the low 15% blogging range. You are not getting the love as you put it cause you are in the wrong blogosphere. Become a mommy and then you will get the hits you want."

My friend was laughing for another few minutes at me. I had to agree, her husband was right. Not a mommy so not getting the kind of following that the other bloggers are.

But I also like to think of myself as the voice for non-mommy bloggers out there. The bitter cynical tribe of women who are just sick and tired and completely fed up with having to see diaper blogs every turn we make on the internet.
I am the voice of a generation of women.

My friend was still laughing at me twenty minutes later.

Why do you tell me this?

2010-01-26T18:42:00.003-05:00

Posted this bit ago on my main blog.

"Oh well it's his loss"

Why is it all my male friends always say this to me when I tell them about my latest break up or that some guy never called back?
If I had an X-Division belt for all the times I have heard that....

Seriously now, is it just a knee jerk reaction from people to say this to family/friends? Or is there something I am just missing? Cause it's not just my gay male friends who say this to me, but my straight male friends too.

I was just having a chat with my buddy Patrick about a guy who contacted me from the dating site who said he'd call. Well he never did. Not too broken hearted over it either so whatever. But this then got us into a long chat on why a man would not let a woman know he's got a crush on her.

Patrick said on the topic "Maybe the guy with the crush is shy, or scared, or doesn't want to be rejected."
Well I throw at him "what if you know the dude is not shy?"
Patrick says "Then he's a total nerd and just doesn't know how to deal with women at all." Then he says "all men lack confidence at some point."

I replied with "what if the dude already knows he won't be rejected by me?"
Patrick says again "well then it's his loss."

I'm more confused then when I started.
So basically what you are saying to me is it's a loose -loose situation?

So I had this poll

2010-01-25T12:46:00.005-05:00

I had a poll on my main blog last week asking "Would you date me?"
The choices were 1) You are funny so I know the conversation would rock. Yes
2) You are not pretty enough. NO
3) I'm not a wrestler so I would not keep your attention past coffee. No
4) Interview first, date later. Yes
5) This feels like a trick. Maybe
6) I thought you would never ask.

I got 3 hits total.
2 hits for #1 and 1hit for #4.

I happen to know Joshua voted for #1 cause he told me.
That means I had two total strangers admit they would indeed date me. In my life, that is the coolest news ever. One of those hits I believe is a long time reader of mine who has been following my wrestling posts.

The other hit is what has myself and my buddy Danny joking around and scratching our heads. We believe it's one member of my favourite tag team. We believe this cause it just fits right into things, and because the hit to the poll was in connection to a hit from the UK on my hits tracker. The wrestling company was doing a UK tour last week, and we know for a fact they read my main blog.

Circles

2010-01-24T10:34:00.003-05:00

My code for going around the internet in circles looking at the same two or three sites cause I am not sure what I want to do is "Tripping the net for cargo lint."

I'm have a day of Tripping the net for cargo lint.

I'm bored. I have hit yet another wall with my novel and nothing seems to be inspiring me today. I decided to hit up iTunes Canada and maybe rent a movie, but everything I want to see is "buy only". I don't buy movies from iTunes for a few reasons, 1) they cost too much and 2) I don't have space on my mac for them.

It's pouring rain here so even if I had a place to head off to, it's just bad weather so stuck inside once again today. I'm really starting to get cabin fever. I can't wait for spring.

Bridget Jones's Diary... Advice p2

2010-01-22T17:20:00.003-05:00

In the beginning of both the book and movie, one of the first thing Bridget Jones says is that she will not get involved with guys like her boss Daniel Cleaver. She will not because she knows what a slimball he is.

Then she does it anyway and gets hurt bad.

I vow not to follow Bridget's footsteps and to stop getting involved with men in my life who are basically Daniel Cleavers.

Are you were you should be?

2010-01-21T18:30:00.003-05:00

I have been doing the Law of Attraction for awhile now. And there are days like today where I feel it's just not ever going to work.
I know, that for any kind of magick to work (Law of Attraction is magick just like any ritual or spell for love or money with a nicer name) you need to be able to keep the visualization going.
Days like today I just can't. My vibes have been low and nothing I have been able to do has lifted my mood.
The mini Sex and the City marathon I watched only deepened my pity party. I think it has to do alot with the season. Heading into Valentine's Day is never a good thing for me.
And I am unemployed. So not good.
Wait, one more bad mood reason, I have been trying to find a new place to live since July of last summer, but there is nothing I can afford.
So here's me single, broke, stuck in a rut. The path I follow has alot to do with things happening when they do for a reason. I just have not figured out what the reason for me being unable to get out of this mess is?
I have been doing reviews for other people's books and getting friendly encouraging emails from the press agents, but the only payment are the books for free.
I have seen reference to my blog posts showing up on TNA wrestling for a while, but still can not get an interview with Chris Sabin.
I get numerous hits on my profile on this one dating site with just as many guys asking to chat, but never any dates.
So if things are half way working, why aren't they totally? I have a May 1st deadline for my own novel, yet I am far from finished the first draft, the photographer I was in talks with bailed and I still can't find an editor. I need to complete all that before May 1st 2010 or I loose the backing for it.
So here's me asking are there any editors out there?

What's your weakness?

2010-01-20T15:50:00.007-05:00

Okay, by now if you are just tuning into my blogs (I have so many I can't even keep count) you will be seeing a pattern in my taste for men.
And those of you who read my main blog, my wrestling blog, my vampire blog, my book blog, my cooking blog, and my pagan blog, you already know what I like. (I only gave links for two. But you can find links for all on the side bar) Wrestlers.

Yeah I am not normal.

Most women dig rock stars or movie stars, but you know I have done that more then I want to count with the men in this city. I like them little more on the ... X-Division side.
Did I happen to mention that Joshua my cyber f**k buddy is an indie wrestler? No?
Hey folks guess what, my cyber f**k buddy Joshua is a wrestler for the indie companies.

He's got great arms.

I'm not even sure where I am going with this confession. Maybe nowhere. But I want to know, what is your weakness ?
Everyone has one.

Opps I did him again

2010-01-18T16:44:00.002-05:00

There is this guy Joshua.
He has a weird effect on me. I have a blast when I talk to him. He's cute, funny, sexy even. And I end up doing things with him I would never do with any other guy.

We're friends. We have the same twisted sense of humour. And he keeps popping up on the dating sites I join.
I am completely free when I am with him.

Oh did I mention I have never met him outside of the computer? Yeah, he's my cyber f**k buddy.
Sad, pathetic and oh so yummy. This has been going on for a very long time. He's also my back up when things get totally crazy in real life, or some sleazy old guy/thirteen year old starts to cyberstalk me on Myspace or something. I just point to his profile and claim him as mine. I've had to do that more then once in real life too cause of one creepy Lesbian who works at the Blockbuster down the street.

Tonight, while we were doing what we do best, ripping apart the rest of the world, I brought up my last posting topic Which then got into the question of what we have being an emotional affair?

He wasn't sure. I'm not sure. As I said, this has been going on for a while, and we're both fairly attached to each other on one level. So why not turn it into something real?
Well, he lives in the U.S. and I live in Canada. (yes I have a thing for American men okay deal) the other AND/BUT in the situation is that we're not compatible.

I know I know then how can I be so damned free with him? You got me?
I'm looking for a long term relationship, and he's well, not. There is a bit of an age difference here too, he's 8 years younger. Okay so I'm a cyber-cougar-slut. Deal.
I see myself heading for a massive broken heart, but not really.
Confused yes very much.

It's great cause he takes the edge off of being alone, but it's bad because I'm always shocked at myself afterward. I've never considered myself anything but a Prude. So what is it about the very thought of this guy, the very sound of his voice that makes me... act like ... this?

Are we faking it

2010-01-17T09:49:00.010-05:00

Season two episode 28 of Sex and the City Was it Good For You? the question of the week is "how do you know you're good in bed?"
The character of Charlotte has a guy fall asleep on her while they are having sex, and Carrie becomes the replacement vice for a guy with addictions.
In episode 16 They Shoot Single People Don't They? (also season two) the question of the week is "is it better to fake it then be alone?" Where Miranda has to fake it more then once with the same guy.

I was reading an online article about men having to fake it in bed. I have to be honest, I did not think it was physically possible for a man to fake it.
I know guys fake the rest of the relationship all the time, but in bed?

And before you get all into "well women fake it all the time" it's true that alot of women have faked it, many of us do not.
I have never. No it's not always that good, I just am rude and will tell the guy it's not working. I see no reason to fake it.
If you fake it once, and the relationship extends from a one night stand to a proper relationship or even just f**k buddies, then you are more then likely having to fake it every time.

That is false advertising.

More people seem to meet online now then they do in real life. Many would consider the start of that kind of relationship faking it. If you have a cyber f**k buddy, is that a fake relationship or a really safe sex one?
That would bring up the question of is sex ever safe? Emotions are emotions wither they are expressed over the internet or in physical form.

This brings me right back to the original topic, Are we faking it?

I sent out a few messages to my single male friends about this topic, but honestly none of them have had the balls to open up with me.
Trust me when I say, I'm sure I will be back to this topic at some point.

You Brought Me a Pet Werewolf...

2010-01-16T18:56:00.002-05:00

Originally posted on my main blog on Jan 15th 2010

I used a screen capture for this post.

He's cute can I keep him?

Yes, if you read this weeks edition of "My Thoughts on TNA Impact" (Jan 14th 2010 episode) then you saw that capture and the screen shot of Chris Sabin. And if you are a regular reader of my blog then you know I have been nagging him (lovingly, sweetly, with just enough molasses for it to be too thick to pour) for almost a year now about his hair.

I have tried twice to stop, but SIR I HAVE AN ADDICTION (there is a really obvious dirty joke there but even I am too bored to go for it)

I have said time and time again, that Mr. Sabin is pretty much perfect. Fabulous in the ring, great to look at, wicked sense of humour, and hair that makes my teeth ache cause it's just .... grubby.

But look at this screen shot, even I have to admit he looks hot with that shaggy mess and lost in the woods beard thingie he's got happening. Damn it.
Normally I compare him to a monkey cause of his ability in the ring to climb and jump around without any issues (Did you all see him in that Ultimate X match back on Oct 22 2009?) but the werewolf image is more then clear. There's just something primal about him here. You can't tell me there isn't.
You so can not tell me that you don't think The Howling, or Company of Wolves or well the most obvious Wolf (James Spader's werewolf in that one not Jack Nicholson's ) and ya know that really old and really bad exploitation film from the 1970's Werewolves on Wheels when you look at this shot.

I don't know what he's trying to say with that look in his eyes ( come hither, I want to slice you with a chainsaw and use your intestines for hair gel ) but that is one big bad wolf I wouldn't mind running into in the dark of night.

I can't help it.

2010-01-14T13:09:00.011-05:00

I used a screen capture for this post.

I have to say, that when I was posting this on my Andrew and the Aluminumsidings blog this morning, I was crying. I know crazy right, crying for a man I have never met before. But, honestly, Alex Shelley is the reason I became a fan of TNA.

The first episode of TNA Impact back in the fall of 2005 opened with a three way match between Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin and Petey Williams. I saw him come out to the ring and was like "oh god. Why is he familiar?"
To this day, I can not tell you how or why I recognized him as I know I never saw him on television before that.
I have called him Dionysus in human form many times on my blogs, and I am not just saying that because he's so beautiful. I'm saying that because he's so talented too. I have watched wrestling for over 31 years (I'll be 36 this spring) and never have I seen a wrestler with so much pure talent then Alex Shelley. There have been guys who have been good or nice to look at or both, but none, none of them have had this quality that Mr. Shelley has. He's spellbinding, just bewitching to watch, to listen to.

No one wants to hear that their heroes are hurt. No one wants to believe that someone they respect and admire could be just as human as them.
In the same regard, women have a tendency to romanticize their heroes; building them up to a status that no average man can meet, while at the same time, secretly wanting them to be average.

Follow me.

For the last while on my main blog, I have been talking about Mr. Shelley and Mr. Sabin in a way of pointing out they are not flawless. I know the readers of my main blog have gotten the humour of it, as I am sure both Mr. Shelley and Mr. Sabin have gotten the jokes. (I rip myself apart too alot. ) My main blog is part reality ,part fan mail , but all lustful honesty.

I know I have said in the past I don' t think I could be grown up enough to handle talking to Alex Shelley, that I am not professional enough a reporter to interview him. But if the chance were ever given, you know I would take it. Screamingly jump at the chance.
He's what wrestling is about. Alex Shelley is the real icon for pure wrestling.

Oh God! Is He okay?

2010-01-14T13:04:00.003-05:00

Posted this few hours ago on my main blog

I used a screen capture for this post.

If you have been reading this blog much over the last few years, you know I don't like spoilers. I don't read other fan sites, I stay away from the official Myspaces and Facebooks and avoid Wikipedia at all costs.
I do however read Injury reports on TNA Revolution.com

With that said, they have just reported that Alex Shelley suffered a neck and back injury. Damage to the disks in his neck. (according to TNA Revolution.com it is bulging disks and herniated neck.)

Dating 101 -Tips from the Non Dating Guru... the posting series

2010-01-12T07:13:00.005-05:00

I started another "misadventures" in dating series on my main blog this week. I had been blogging last summer about the guys I was meeting on a dating site. I thought my dating days were over for the season, but a few rare messages are still coming in from a few odd balls. Here is the two latest posts from my main blog.
Last summer, I called the dating posts "Are there any Single Straight Men left on the Planet?" this one I am calling Dating 101 Tips from the Non Dating Guru.

Humour me.

The universe is teasing me. For those of you who read my relationship posts, you will remember my series I did over the summer when I was actually dating again. "Are there any single straight men left on the planet?". When I was talking about the Austin Aries Look A Like (nope never did find a better tagline for him.)
Well, I just got messaged by a guy who looks like another wrestler. This dude is a dead ringer for Sonjay Dutt. So weird man, so weird. Does this mean the universe will send me an Alex Shelley look alike soon? Here's hoping.
Anyway, the Sonjay look alike, seems a little hyper, as he kind of skipped the intro part and started in with a to do list for our first date. Um excuse me? I did not even agree to actually go out with you? Top it all off he owns a club/bar in town. Last thing I want is another bar star. I have been there, done that 3 times in the past. Yeah, 3 different times. (the creep who cheated on me with my cousin was a bar star 24/7. The dude after him was a Bartender. And the dude after that was Trainwreck the dj/musician.)
Seriously, Any guys at all who are not actors or djs or musicians in this city? Why can't I meet a nice quiet photographer or painter or even an English teacher or something that does not have the guy in a bar all the time?

Continue to humour me.

Well it would seem that Howie D. is the Backstreet Boy of choice for guys on dating sites.
That is, the celebrity photo they all seem to want to use instead of showing their own photos. Hmm.
I find that insulting really. All these guys talk about how they want an honest woman with no head games and then they pull dren like that.
That tells me you are afraid to be on a dating site. If you are afraid to be seen by someone that might know you then you most likely should not be on a dating site. And 80% of the "Howies" are looking for "other relationship". I can not tell you how many guys have messaged me in the course of the last 8 months that I have been on this one dating site, who have made comments about wanting a discreet encounter.
First off, I'm listed as looking for long term with marriage in mind, and second there is nothing discreet about me.
I've confessed my desire for Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin publicly on here more then a few hundred times, so you know not the most silent when it comes to stuff.
This is not the first time either on this site that some bucket of dren has used a celebrity photo. I have seen photos of the actor Robert Buckley from the tv show Lipstick Jungle used, singer Clint Black, and remember I told you last summer someone actually used a cropped photo of Chris Sabin. Really guys. That one still makes me giggle.

Will the drama ever stop?

2010-01-10T14:19:00.003-05:00

I just was chatting with the woman who does the wwe reviews on BlindTag.com
I got us nominated for a sports blog award. I'm not stupid, I know that unless we amp it up and get some interviews, we will not win this year. But it will help to draw attention to the blog and get some new readers.
Her issue, she saw my other blog where I posted that Blindtag.com was MY blog.
Well, yeah it is. I started it, I came up with the title, I got the people together to work on it. The blog is under my account. So yes, it is my blog. Oh sorry, my MOM's blog, as she owns the domain.
So what is the issue? Well, then she was like "if it's yours then all it's on you. I will just do my normal. "
That's all I expected from her. 3 posts a week. that was the agreement.
Of course it's all on me. It's my blog. It's my job to find a way to do a banner and header at some point without crossing copyright issues of wrestlers. It's my job to promote it. It's my job to try and find someone in the business to interview.
To say it's on anyone else is ludicrous. It's my neck on the line.

I know what I want

2010-01-09T08:08:00.005-05:00

I worked in television for 3 years in the early 1990's. It was fun, stressful, brutal, and in the end not for me.

I have been working online for the last 6 years off and on for online magazines/newspapers. Just trying to find my voice.

I blog because I love it.

I write novels and poetry because if I did not I would stop breathing.

My hobbies include movies, books, art, coffee, tarots, studying the occult.
My passions include wrestling and vampires.

I have more blogs and websites then I can count, one for every part of my interests. I am scatterbrained all the time because everything is so stretched out. But as I posted before, I did it that way cause the readers did not like the other topics. Only, it's really taking it's toll on me. I have been asking the universe for awhile what my real purpose on this planet is. I have gotten no real reply other then writing.

This morning I asked myself why am I taking the whole wrestling thing this week so damned personal? I'm not a wrestler, I am not part of the wrestling business. This sprang to thinking about why I got into television nearly 20 years ago to begin with. The answer was to become a wrestling commentator. I am not a sports writer. Never got into any other sports. Just wrestling.

I have to scale down my interests for awhile and focus on the really important things. My answer was staring me in the face the whole time. I want to be involved with the wrestling media. Just the fact I got the domain name for Blindtag.com said something I was not seeing before. I never bothered to do that for my horror site, or my vampire site, or my pagan site.
They are strong interests of mine so why did I never hold them on the same level?

My focus now is with my novel and Blindtag.com.

I had this bad vibe

2010-01-08T12:23:00.004-05:00

I had a bad feeling on Monday. All having to do with the big 3 hour special for TNA Impact.
Here it is Friday, still have not gotten to see the show, and hearing all sorts of bad stuff from other fan sites.

Biggest thing I am hearing that is upsetting me is the injury reports. There's more then just one coming in.

You are wondering what has a wrestling tv show have to do with me? Well, much of nothing really. I have a weekly review I like doing on my main blog and on my wrestling blog http://blindtag.com.
I also have a new column so to speak that I started on my Gonzo Journalism blog where I talk about wrestling.
The difference, is that the one on the gonzo blog is rougher. I don't censor myself at all and I talk about both the major companies.

Again, you are thinking "yeah so?"
Well, the fact I had to wait (and am still at this point) for iTunes Canada or Spike Tv official website to post the replay, by the time I see it, the review will be pointless. Everyone who reads my columns will have seen it and read spoilers from other fan sites.

I don' t like waiting. I am no good at it.

But, writing about wrestling, I would love to turn that into a full time job.

Let's all talk about my boobs.

2010-01-07T11:30:00.004-05:00

Picture it, March 2009 and I am chatting with my buddy Cole Cash. The topic, how to get a famous wrestler to grant me an interview for my wrestling blog.

The conversation went like this:

Me - I want to get an interview with Chris Sabin. How do I do that?

Cole - Send him a photo of your boobs.

Me-Um..right. I am trying to get his attention not scare the crap out of him. Seriously now.

Cole-I like your boobs. You have my attention.

Me-You're not an international wrestling superstar. Besides what part of I want to interview him are you not understanding. Interview. Meaning chat. So how do I get his attention?

Cole-I say flirt with him.

Me- Lovely, my career as a Journalist is over before it has really started.

Cole- Try the fan site on myspace or something.

Me- *deep sigh* I did. I complimented him on his drop kick.

Cole- *mad fit of laughter* Think about how much fan praise he gets every day from people. Take a more personal approach.

Me- What I should insult his hair?

Cole- *more laughter* Sure. Insult Chris Sabin's hair, and send me a photo of your boobs.

Well, I did. The ranting about his hair I mean.

I wrote what would be the post to put my little blog on the radar of Chris Sabin fans worldwide. Then, last summer I posted this conversation on Aug 4th 2009. On Aug 27th 2009 an episode of TNA Impact aired with MotorCityMachine Guns! doing a promo where Chris Sabin was talking to the boobs of the female journalist.
I was jumping for joy. My blog had inspired someone over at TNA. Maybe even Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley themselves.

Then yesterday I had this conversation with my mom.

Mom: you didn't actually send him a photo of your boobs did you?

Me: No. What are you dumb; stupid?

Mom: Cause that would be .....

Me: The kind of thing Setla would do?

Mom: true she would do something stupid like that. Why would you even consider something like that?

Me: I didn't. I was having a conversation with Cash.

Mom: Oh. Why would he tell you to do something like that?

Me: Cause it's Cash. *shrug*

Mom: Why did you say on your blog that you would?

Me: Huh? What? Where?

Mom: You said if he asked for a picture you would send one. In your comments with the interview questions.

Me: Oh, the christmas post. Totally safe. There is no way in hell Chris Sabin will ever ask for a photo of my boobs.

Mom: *laughing so loud everyone in the bakery department of the grocery turned to stare* Oh don't be silly girl. No one would. No one wants to see that.

That caused a bit of a stir when I posted it. I know my friend who replied to the post on my main blog was trying to be supportive, but it didn't sound it.
It sounded like she was telling me I didn't matter. Just like my mom made me feel like I didn't matter.
Me posting the conversation with my mom was not about the moral issue that my friend seemed to think it was when she commented telling me I should not do something like send a celebrity a naked photo. My posting was about the fact my mom belittled me once again in public.
My friend was going on about how all men just think of women as sex objects and how that degrades us.

That's just not true. And before you point to the top half of the post, Cash is a rareness in my life. He's a guy I turn to when I want to have someone flirt with me. My friendship with him is only on the internet and it's about the flirting.

Most men, don't even know I exist. I'm always the buddy never the sex object.

Law of return 2010

2010-01-06T08:37:00.005-05:00

I did a post few months back about the idea of the law of return. I talked about how I would love to get letters specially love letters.
So I started a series of posts called "Unopened Letters to An Imaginary Husband". on my main blog back in Nov.
Sort of like a gratitude journal. Just poem-ish letters on my blog.

I'm not giving up hope, I still believe I'll get some in return. Here's parts 1-6

My Dearest Love:

Thank you for taking out the trash today. It was sweet of you to remember without being told five times.
Thank you for picking up the dirty socks from the bathroom floor before someone slipped on them falling.
Thank you for remembering to set the vcr to tape my soap opera while I was shopping with mom.
Thank you for not letting the dishes pile up over the weekend while I was on the business trip.

My sweet man, what would I have done without you making me soup the time I was sick with the flu, even if it was from a can.
What would I have done if you hadn't been stubborn and gotten the leather sofa when your brother's kids spilled grape juice on it. The stain would never have come out of any other material.
How many blankets would I need to stay warm at night if you were not there beside me with your body heat.

How can I repay you for your comfort and security you have given me over the years.
For all the day to day things you have brought to my life, my sweet man, my dearest love, my husband, my friend thank you.

-Love always, Ardeth Blood

My Dearest Love:

I miss hearing you breathe beside me in the dark, even when you snore
I miss the feel of your arms around me, even when you elbow me in the ribs as you roll over
I miss the late night kiss, even after you had garlic for dinner
I miss the way your hair falls into your eyes as you sleep, and the way it sticks off in all directions in the morning.

I dream of your touch when you're not here
I forget nothing of your scent as it lingers in the pillowcase
I remember your breath on my shoulder as you kiss me
I long for your return, for when our time apart will once again be over
I long for you and all you are

-Love Always Ardeth Blood

My Dearest Love:

I remember the first time I saw you at the bar, dancing like a stiff monkey
The small stain on your shirt from the nachos you had been eating
I remember the first time I heard you speak, as you nodded and winked at my friend first
Your smile was nearly perfect
The next time I spotted you it was in line at a coffee shop, your skin gleaming in the shop's light,
Your eyes hiding behind thin glasses
I remember how you spilled your latte on yourself as you dropped your wallet
You are the cutest when you are embarrassed

For all the times you have made me laugh, on purpose or not,
I have a hundred kisses to return to you
For all the times you entertained me, and those around us
I have a hundred hugs to return to you
For the happiness you give me I have only my heart to return to you

Love Always Ardeth Blood

My Dearest Love:

The coffee steaming beside your hand as you read the morning paper every Sunday
Reminds me of a black and white photo we once saw at the art gallery.
Jazz music on the radio as you moved around the kitchen, your favourite shirt stained with paint always made me think of my favourite poem.

You've always been living art to me,
A gift from Dionysus, or Aphrodite.
A blessing even when we fight.

You touched my soul with your smile
Caressed my flesh with your eyes, with just one soft look,
I hope you understand what you do to me every time you wink and laugh
at all the silly things I say.

My desire for you grows hotter every day.

Love always Ardeth Blood

My Dearest Love:

I know what you are feeling, what you are trying to hide when you look at me, your eyes wide, your lips in a sly smile,
You are a hopeless a romantic as I am, though you pretend not to be.
I know you are counting the hours till you can call me up, to ask me how my day has been, but until you can, you settle for updates on my blog, following me silently.
I know what you are wanting from me, when you dream at night of my bed, as you stare at the ceiling in your own.
I know you wish to give me the world, but are afraid to try.

You always knew what to say to make me feel even better in my day, to make me smile despite myself, to make me think of nothing but your lips, your voice as it slips softly around me,
You're poetry in motion, a desert flower blooming alone, your strength scares me, your beauty too much for me at times,
I wait by the phone desperate to hear your voice, hushed and polite as you fill me in on your night.
My strange friend, my secret heart, take a deep breath with me and admit what we both know.
Who needs the world when I've got you.

Love Always Ardeth Blood

My Dearest Love

I'm grateful for the flowers you always bring me even for no reason
I'm grateful for the ability to communicate with you without words
I'm grateful for the time you were willing to watch the that dvd with me even though we'd seen it a hundred times already
I'm grateful for the night you talked me into driving with you in the rain

I'm happy for our time together even when we do nothing but argue over the laundry
I'm happy for the way the light glows off your skin when we walk in the snow
I'm happy for the sound of your voice when you sing off key
I'm happy for fact you are in my life.

Love Always Ardeth Blood

What's it going to take?

2010-01-05T18:12:00.003-05:00

Staying up beat and positive is the hardest thing on the planet. I have been trying to work the Law of Attraction to help bring the right business partners into my life cause, so far my ability to find the right people has sucked and I keep getting screwed over business wise.
But the people in my life (family and friends) are the biggest downers ever. It's like a giant black hole talking to mom.
I'm in talks with this photographer right now to work on the cover for the book, and I can't get a straight answer out of the guy. It's driving me nuts. But he's also the cheapest in town.
I am tired of people around me looking at my writing as a hobby. Its not. It never has been.

Blog hopping

2010-01-05T08:21:00.005-05:00

I used a screen capture for this post.

Okay, so I just went on the "next blog" button wanting to visit some new blogs, and for some reason I have been dropped smack dab in the middle of a bunch of religious blogs.
Hhhhmm. I had no idea that the blogs on here were classed together. I ramble about everything, so shouldn't I have been hitting other sports blogs and movie blogs too? Things to make you wonder before the coffeemaker is even done yet.

I need a coffee.
I want a cocktail.
I need a personal assistant.
I want an interview with wrestler Chris Sabin is what I really want.

I hate waiting

2010-01-05T07:50:00.004-05:00

Last night was the 3 hour special episode of TNA Impact. Live. Normally the show is taped.
If you have been reading my weekly reviews for the show on either my main blog or my http://blindtag.com then you know I don't have cable and have to wait for it to either be available on iTunes Canada for download or online on the official Spike Tv website. Neither has it up yet. Everyone else has seen it, reviewed it, commented on it, and knows what's going on but me.
Which makes me feel really out of the loop.
I know you are thinking, it's just a show, but I've been doing my weekly review posts on it for nearly 5 years on every blog I have ever worked on or for. To me, it's more then a show, it's more then a hobby (blogging about it) it's my one weekly thing that connects me to people.
I feel lost today because I'm behind everyone else with this. Feels weird.

And over here

2010-01-03T08:42:00.004-05:00

I started a new series of posts on one of my other sites for Sex and the City fans. Sort of.
I had been doing a series of posts for the last few years off and on, on my main blog that had to do with things from Sex and the City that I was finding similar to my own life and using that writing style to explain it all.
They were fairly well received so I thought I would try it up again on one of my newer blogs. This time, going with the question theme that Carrie in the show always used. "I had to wonder"
I know I have too many blogs, and starting to wish I had not made one for every thing I am into. But, it made sense at the time, as my wrestling readers did not like all the vampire stuff and my Jane Austen readers did not want all the wrestling stuff and you get the idea.
Well anyway you can check them out here The new series. There is only one intro and one full post so far as I only started them back up this week.
The ones I have been doing for the last 3 years are here

This is frealed

2010-01-02T07:09:00.006-05:00

I used a screen capture for this post.

On my wrestling blog http://blindtag.com
I have a business partner. I cover TNA wrestling she covers WWE wrestling.
Only, she not only hasn't written anything this week, and the two weeks before she just copied the score results from the official site, she keeps changing her name on there which is confusing to me and our normal readers. I see what is going to happen, she's going to stop writing. It's already started to show that she is loosing interest. Maybe she saw just how many people are really interested in TNA.
The big "return of the Monday Night Wars" is this week coming up on Jan 4th 2010.
I wonder how my team will fair.
If you have been reading my Gonzo Journalism blog then you know I did a break down last month of how I feel the two companies stack up. Check it out here let me know what you think.

My Best of Series

2010-01-01T17:46:00.002-05:00

On my vampire blog I have done a small series I was simply calling the "best of". (Best of the Bug Eaters, Best of the Sequels, Best of the Hunters) I had not done a Best of Dracula yet. I am starting to think it is time.

You might remember my Best of series from 2007, (Best of the Bugeaters, Best of the Sequels, Best of the Hunters) Well, it's time for a Best of Dracula.

You would have thought this one would have been the easiest. Um no. Even though there have been hundreds of actors to play Dracula over the decades, there is less then a handful that people actually respond to.

The top four are also the most famous.

Gary Oldman

Bela Lugosi

Frank Langella

Sir Christopher Lee

What was it about each actor that made his portrayal of the count stand out in our minds?

Is it the balance they seem to bring to the character, half animalistic half man? Or is it the fact they all played him slightly damaged?
Each actor gave Dracula their own spin, some focused on the fact he was partially based on the real Prince of Wallachia, while some focused on the fact he was not human at all.

Each of the four actors who have made Dracula a household name did so at different points in the last 70 years. Each being the defining draconic icon for their generation.

Lugosi and Langella each made him irresistible.
Lee and Oldman each made him brutal.

4 different actors, 4 very different decades, 4 larger then life versions of the same man.

How do I manage that every time?

2010-01-01T17:26:00.003-05:00

My apartment is not that big. I live alone and I do not lend out my stuff, so how is it I keep loosing my books?

I spent three months this summer looking for what I did with my copy of Frankenstein, and it ended up having fallen behind a bookcase. Now, I can't find my copy of Bridget Jones's Diary 2 Edge of Reason.
I have looked everywhere and still can't seem to find it. But hey, I managed to find my copy of the Vampire Journals DVD. I was looking for that too for the last month.

Sex and the City 2

2009-12-31T13:30:00.005-05:00

The teaser poster and teaser trailer have been released for the second Sex and the City movie.

The traditional pink seems to have been traded in for white, gold and silver.

May 28th is the date.

When Did Book Trailers Become So Damned Popular?

2009-12-30T08:46:00.011-05:00

Not sure, but I think I will have to do something for mine. Check that, I know I have to do one.

Blind Tag Column My Thoughts on Wrestling for the Week

2009-12-30T08:33:00.005-05:00

I used a screen capture for this post

I have been for the last two months, writing a new column or series of posts, on my Gonzo Journalism blog.
At the moment, I am just too lazy to recopy them all over here.

What you need when you need it

2009-12-28T18:51:00.004-05:00

Timing. It's all about timing. The universe gives you what you need when you need it.
I was given a copy of Arielle Ford's Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Lover nearly two years ago, when I needed it. I have been wanting her newest book Soulmate Secret for the last year but something has always kept me from getting it. I got it for christmas. Both her books were given as gifts, both when I needed them.
Or I should say, when the universe felt I was ready for them.

And from doing the exercises in Soulmate Secret, I realized that I'm not ready to bring my soulmate to me.
I still have alot of issues that I need to clean up. One of those is my book. There has been so many false starts with getting it published just this year alone. So, I have started to use the Law of Attraction to help with my book first. We'll see where it leads.

Cleaning out the junk

2009-12-27T20:10:00.003-05:00

I have to love my mom today. My christmas gift from her was my own domain for my wrestling blog. http://blindtag.com
And while on the topic of wrestling, I had to get rid of my wrestling ning site that I had with the business partner. There was just too many issues. I did however, create a brand new one http://frogsplashes2.ning.com

Dear Blog Day 2- Memories of 1993

2009-12-24T19:58:00.007-05:00

Victor stood with his Jon Lennon style glasses on, tinted of course, perched on the edge of his nose. He liked to look down on us as he read the latest essay or poem or what have you that he wrote. Or we wrote. Though he was less then kind when reviewing our works.
He'd won a few awards when he'd been in high school for his plays. Had more then a few produced by the time we were all in our last year of college.
That particular day he was reading something I had written. This I suppose is the part where I tell you about the "gang". Well, there was Victor, who fancied himself the next Jack Kerouac. Then there was Stu, who was the philosophy student, and the drummer in their band. Of course Arthur, the bass player rounding things out.
I was the only female most the time, which suited me fine. Sure they all had girlfriends or what have you. They were the house band after all. And I was just... you know I am not sure what I was to them.
I am still friends with Arthur. He's in Toronto now so we only get to talk by email and rarely by phone.
But that particular day, Victor was in a very odd mood. Things were starting to shift in our little group. We had one writer too many and not enough actors. What Victor really wanted in the group was a painter. But back then everyone wanted to be in a band. We had our roles, and mine was a cross between Mary Shelley and the character Mina from Dracula. How was I suppose to know I would get trapped in the role. Always one step behind them and never taken seriously enough. He once told me he expected great things from me.
I let him down.
I let him down the day I was scolded in front of the news crew by our producer the first time I did a live on air interview, when I was mocked in front of him and the rest of the production team for my appearance by the other women in the crew ; all of whom were a size zero and in love with him, and I let him down when I got canned from the local television station after only two episodes of my horror show.
Yes folks, I am a former horror hostess, even though my show lasted less then a month on local tv.
But the night I wanted to talk about was before all that. When he still thought I was cool. Well, cool enough to hang out with at the coffee house. Merlin's Tea Room. He stood there looking down at me over the edge of his glasses, his shoulder length brown hair brushing on the edges of his black dress shirt, a cigarette in one hand the page in the other. He nodded made this giggling noise he would make sometimes and told me it was too "soft".
Told me there wasn't enough me in it, that my poetry was too "commercial". He was right of course. Victor seemed to know me better then I think I knew myself at that point in my life. And if you read my Gonzo Journalism blog, you will know that I have gotten rougher with my stuff. I write the way I see it.
So why have I felt the need to share this moment from my past?
Why the hell not.

My Vampire Blog

2009-12-24T18:47:00.003-05:00

I have been doing Alucard's Rose now for a few years. It's vampires my friend, vampires.
I also have a horror site on ning.com called Disturbia

I know its been dead (no pun intended) for a while now, and I need to bring Disturbia up to something more vital. Only, I have no idea what else to add to it. I wanted it to have a different feel then what I had been seeing with these other horror sites on ning.
I did not want the typical thing. Too bad for me that the members seemed to. So at the moment, my Disturbia is needing some new blood.

But, Alucard's Rose, that baby runs itself. Just a blog with a bunch of reviews and such. Some months are busier on there then others. Oh and forgot to mention my vampire ning site Fist Full of Garlic another site I need to add some fresh blood to.

Am I that type of Girl?

2009-12-23T22:45:00.005-05:00

I used to say I would not do one night stands. For years I wouldn't. I had to be in a relationship. Only trouble was, my relationships never made it past three months.
In the last few years, I've bowed down to the one night stands and have not had a relationship in nearly 4 years.
How's that working for me? Well, about as good as the relationships were. The last guy I met was this past summer. I blogged about him on my main blog, called him Freud. He's 11 years younger then I am and it was meant as a one off.
He read my blog, left comments, and continued to message me. Then one night, he showed up on my doorstep out of the blue. Our one night stand turned into a second one.
He continued to leave little comments on my blog and skype me every time he saw I was online.
Then last week, he asked if I was seeing anyone. No not right now. He wanted to come over. We started talking about nothing important and he says he was in a relationship.
I blew the roof. Got extremely upset at him. He acted like it was nothing.
Freud messaged me the other day, acting innocent like he had no idea why I was no longer returning his messages.
I'm not even sure why I got so upset, we were not in a relationship, it was never meant to be more then a one night stand. I'm starting to believe I am not designed for long term as I never seem to get any of them to work right. Every man I have been with has cheated on me. So I must be doing something terribly wrong.
If I can accept the fact that I am better at the one night stand then the relationship, and even though I really want a husband I have never wanted the big fluffy wedding, are my ethics changing or am I just giving in to society?
I'm about to turn 36 in the spring, and I am so tired of the games men seem to play. Am I the type of girl who can handle being the back up plan?

Librarians Need Love Too

2009-12-23T18:35:00.000-05:00

You know that old Samantha Fox song "Naughty Girls Need Love Too" well, I've had it stuck in my head for a few days now. Won't go away. While I was out today, I started thinking about the idea of trying to figure out what I'm actually good at.
Collecting videos and books is about the length of it. Which really is not that surprising given I am a writer and worked in a Library twice.
I worked for a grade school as the only librarian they had that year, back when I was myself in grade 12. And worked for one of the city libraries when I was in my early twenties as an assistant.
My younger sister has been working at Chapters Canada for the last 5 years. Books it would seem are part of us.
I posted last summer on my main blog my dating misadventures, and talked in one post how I am looking for a man who is equally interested in books. I had a fairly nice coffee date with one guy who was Mr. Outdoors and we just were not compatible. Very sweet man but not much of a reader. In the post I went on to say that I prefer dusty tomb like rows of bookshelves.
A post a certain Tag Team made fun of a few weeks later in their promo.

Talk about Lair of the White Worm.... posting series

2009-12-23T17:40:00.006-05:00

I used screen capture for this post.

I did a few posts already on my gonzo journalism blog about the wrestler Sheamus.

I got alot of heat for saying

#1 I think he's hot.
#2 I think he's going to be the top Heel for the next few years with the fans backing him.
#3 I predicted that he would rise to the top fast and have the belt.

So far, I have been right on the fact he has won the belt in under two months. The most heat I think I have gotten from people is that I happen to think he's hotter then hell in a bathtub.
People keep scrunching up their nose at me shaking their heads asking what I see in the pasty white guy.

Well, that right there is one thing. I like pasty white as chalk men. He's a little too top heavy for my tastes, but he's got fabulous thighs and butt and waist. Perfect even.
Not too mention he's got a wicked smile. One that lights up a room. And I don't mean it's so bleached that it leaves you snowblinded, I mean when he smiles you can't help but get a bit dreamy. And since he doesn't smile a whole lot, when he does it sends butterflies through this girl.

When Did I Forget Me

2009-12-23T10:12:00.002-05:00

Or loose me might be more like it.
Some time between the middle of September and yesterday, my own writing career got shuffled to the back burner and my hobby as a reviewer got pushed up.
Another book arrived from Harper Collins Canada. That's 3 large books I have to finish reading and review before the end of next week. How am I going to get through them?
The latest, has some time for it, as I have the author guest hosting it would seem on the 27th-28th of January 2010 on my book blog.
It's nice to get free books and all that jazz, but it would be nice to get back to having the time to finish my novel too.

Why do Gay Men Flirt with Straight Women?

2009-12-22T13:14:00.007-05:00

This is a big WTF? for me.
I live in a neighbourhood that is very active with Biguys and Gay men. And they are always the ones that seem to be flirting with me.
God knows, none of the straight ones are right now. But anyway, there is this one guy who is a drag queen, and he still for whatever reason, keeps flirting with me... on a dating site.

Okay, for those of you who read my main blog, you know that I joined yet another dating site last summer and had a few months of misadventures in dating. Called the series of posts Are there any single straight men left on this planet
I did 20 pieces to the series. Anyway, this one guy messaged me on there while back, and I still have no clue as to why. I still get the odd message from him every few weeks asking what I am doing that weekend and stuff. He's flirty and I can't figure out why.

Few friends are saying it's cause he's Bi.
Okay fine sure.

Then there is the guy who works at the video rental store down the street. Always calling me hon, sweetie, darling, touching my arm, asking if I have a boyfriend, fluffing up his girly man-do, fixing his tie etc. Even suggested going for coffee sometime.
Um, okay.

So why do all these gay men seem to gravitate to me? Is it my inner Elvira? Whatever it is I seem to be doing to get the fabulous attention of the ever so fab-fanboys, I can't seem to turn it around for the straight men to latch on to.

Do I Tear You Apart?

2009-12-22T08:41:00.003-05:00

This is the poem I wrote on my Gonzo Journalism blog back on Dec 7th 2009

Locks and keys are made for each other.
Are you the key to my dreams?
Am I the missing piece to yours?
Do I rip you from your own reality when you need it most?
Do you think I should?

Crying in the night only brings misery and headaches.
Do I cause you to weep over the thought of me with someone else?
Did you miss what you thought was your way to me?
Are you anything when I am not beside you?
Do I hold the key to your future?
Do you think I should?

We melt into each person who we are meant to be with.
Have you given yourself over to the idea of me ?
Are you willing to try?
You believe that I am yours body and soul?
Do I hold the key to your future?
Do you think I should?
Do I rip you apart, does it hurt to know we're miles and days away from each other?

Locks and keys are made for each other.
Are you ready to find out if we are a perfect fit?

love always Ardeth Blood

No the guy still has not replied, and posted about in this earlier post

The Farscape Factor

2009-12-22T07:47:00.006-05:00

I used screen capture for this post

I posted this on my pagan blog back on Nov 22nd 2009, and thought since it got alot of views, might as well repost it.

In season 3 of Farscape, episode Dog with Two Bones the lead character has to face his fears.
I have struggled with this episode more then once, it's by far my favourite in the series, and the one that hits me the hardest every time I watch it.
It' s the final episode for season 3, tying up some old storylines, but introducing both new ones and new characters.
An end and a beginning. And the wheel keeps turning. Death, loss, birth, rebirth, etc.

The lead character is feeling the weight of his friends moving on in their lives, following their own paths while he is stuck with nowhere to go, literally. As his space ship runs out of fuel and he's trapped, barely floating along.
Isolation.
And a moment of clarity comes to him as he sits alone, having named his fear and made his choice.

As the title of the episode suggests, he has two paths he can follow, the shinny one the dream or the solid one the reality. Does he continue to hope for his ultimate perfect ideal, or does he just live in the moment and be happy with what he already has?
They can't be combined, they can't be merged, at lest not without sacrifice. He chooses to live in the moment with what he already has, and realizes it's truly what he wants anyway. He makes the leap of faith and takes the risk. Only, what he wants is not inline at that point with what everyone else wants.

Fate has made him wait.

It's a hard episode for me to deal with because of what it stirs up in me. The first time I saw this episode it seemed to mirror what I was going through at that point in my life, a choice that ended in isolation. This episode popped up again in my life awhile later with a different situation that seemed to fit in with one of the subplots running through it, that of picking your truth from your fears. Intuition. Now, it has popped up again, at a time when I am not sure if I am even on the right path in my life. I have two different desires that are both so strong in me as to what road I want to travel in my life and they can't be combined, they can't be merged, not even with sacrificing something.

One of the main themes in this episode is meditation. Looking inside yourself and asking the real tough questions.

And that my friends is just one part of the Farscape Factor.

Hot Nerds in Love

2009-12-21T20:35:00.007-05:00

I was reading an article that talked about the hot nerdy/geeky men of the last decade.
All I can say is "yes yes yes". I love nerdy men.

In the 1990s, nerdy men took on a new level with the tv show Twitch City. Both Curtis and Newbie were nerds of the television kind.
And of course, growing up in the 1980s was ruled by the classic nerds from Revenge of the Nerds.
I still go a little weak in the knees when I see a man in the traditional white short sleeves and tie complete with pocket protector.

Or you know, a couple of guys dressed in white face paint with black eyes and jet black suits. Oh yeah I am very much a fan of the Juggalo love leads Madrox and Monoxide.

I still say Monoxide stole the show in Big Money Hustlas when he wore the footie pajamas.

Are we compatible?

2009-12-21T11:25:00.004-05:00

I am an Aries. Demanding and Desiring.
I keep ending up with Pieces, Cancer, and Taurus. That's two waters and an earth.
Seems what I need is an air sign. That would be Gemini, Libra and Aquarius.
Okay, so I need a man who is more thinking then physical. Good thing I am a blogger.

Share your cookbook

2009-12-21T09:20:00.002-05:00

Do I really want to share my best recipes with people who don't care about me?
That is almost like giving away your best spells isn't it?

I had promised my meatloaf recipe to Person A and Person B, but I have no desire to give it to them.

But I'm a Writer

2009-12-21T08:39:00.002-05:00

I don't like the book I am suppose to be working on.
I made a massive mistake trusting someone and on their advice dropped the novel I was doing for a collection of short stories.
Of which I hate. And that publisher is no longer around. I got screwed and am very mad at myself for having trusted them.

So, trying to pick back up on my novel and finding it hard to get back into it. I only stopped working on it for 3 months, but that was just long enough for the characters to loose something for me.

Now I am left kicking myself and confused.

One of the only regrets I have in life.

I'm being Scullied.

2009-12-20T20:45:00.002-05:00

I have been working with meditation rites to help improve my intuition. I don't always get visions, but when I do they are extremely vivid, with smells.
This time I had one with an electric shock. I saw a guy and I believe that the shock was because he saw me too.
I was trying to talk about it with a friend of mine -Person A from my first post on here- and they keep scoffing at me. The worst part is, they are Empathic.
One second they are halfway agreeing with me, the next they are being the biggest non believers and trying to tell me I am nuts.
I feel like the character Mulder from X-Files being talked out of things by Scully.

So you smoke?

2009-12-20T14:28:00.003-05:00

I was out at the store, needed to get some groceries. And this guy came up to me asking if I had a smoke.
"No. Sorry." this actually happens alot around here, as this is a big city of smokers. He nodded and smiled. I wished I had smoked, would have liked a reason to linger around this guy. He was taller then me (I'm a short 5 foot 7), around 5 foot 11 I would say, with jet black hair and chocolate brown eyes. Which given that he had pale skin made me think of my favourite wrestler Alex Shelley.
So then I am just standing there like a goofball waiting to see if he was going to say anything, but no, he just nodded and went across the street to the church.
What is it with guys that have that combination of looks -dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin- that makes me melt? I don't get all flustered around blonde men, so what is it with that combo? I don't go all gaga over darker skinned men either.
Just really pale guys with dark hair and eyes.

Bridget Jones's Diary ... Advice

2009-12-19T17:16:00.003-05:00

Watching the movie, can't find where I put my book, but watching the movie and it just hit me why it worked for her getting the two men after her.
She ignored them. Yes, flirted but didn't drool.
That would be my issue. Too much time on my hands and feeling the desperation for a husband. I think I blew it for the guy I want. I have been tossing myself at him like mad for months.
Okay, so taking the very cliched advice and backing off totally.

The King of Hearts

2009-12-15T20:40:00.004-05:00

Whenever I get a crush on a guy, I see only the innocence in him. No matter how tough and grubby he might be.
I see the sweet little boy, lost and damaged.
Yes, I romanticize every man I am attracted to. It's been my downfall more then once. Trouble is, I never realize I've gone and done it till way later. Whenever I am in that crushing on a guy stage, I see no flaws.
It's not till after I have had my heart ripped to shreds do I see a man for what he really is.
The only time this does not come into play is when I set my sights on a wrestler. When I have spotted a new talent, I see both sides of the coin. His strengths and weaknesses.
A friend of mine, from what I can tell, can not see the double sides of the coin when it comes to the sport of wrestling. They only see what they have been programmed to see.
If he's a character they do not care for, they do what they can to rip him apart even when he's really good at what he does. If he is a character they like, they push him every chance they get, even when he's a crap wrestler.
Are you still a mark when you know you are a mark and everything you see is staged? Are you still a mark when the people around you are bigger marks then you are because they are stuck in their little glass bubble?
So what has this to do with the king of hearts you are asking?
As I said at the top of the post, when I am crushing on a man I see only the good in him. But when I am crushing on a wrestler, I see only the wrestler. I don't think of him as a "man".
I see what he can do physically in the ring, in promos, and judge him only on the two hours a week he's splashed across my tv/computer screen. I need not know what his real life is like when the camera stops rolling.
And I tend to follow the Heels more then the Faces. Faces get boring really fast. Does this mean I have a thing in general for bad boys? No, not really. Just means I know what keeps me entertained and wanting to watch wrestling on a weekly basis.

Are you addicted to my ratings?

2009-12-15T11:06:00.006-05:00

I used a screen capture for this post.

You know, I like my men in general like I like my wrestlers, young and from Detroit.
But, if you are reading my main blog then you already know this.
If you are reading my main blog you know this because you most likely googled the MotorCityMachine Guns! and landed on my main blog.
And if you googled the MotorCityMachine Guns! and landed on my main blog then you know I have had a few gimmicks going on there for a very very very long time. I would have to say that 96% of the traffic I get on my main blog is from the MotorCityMachine Guns! fans. Everyone has a thing for them. And rightly so.
They're hot, talented, hot, smart, hot, and did I mention hot. And as much as I am addicted to talking about them, lately I have been feeling the pressure. As I mentioned, the main reason people hit my main blog is to see what I have to say about their heroes every week.
Will I continue to nag about Chris Sabin's hair and pants? Will I continue to nag about Alex Shelley being too thin and not having much of a butt, or nag about his nervous scratching? But you know, drama sells. It equals ratings.
And as I mentioned before on my freakdom blog all this really started because I wanted an interview with Mr. Sabin. I thought talking about him enough would grab his attention. So who do I need to bribe to get that rare and career making interview? He's still after all this time my most popular topic.
I did get asked at one point, why do I only want an interview with Chris Sabin and not one with Alex Shelley? Specially since Alex Shelley is the perfection of a man in my mind?
Honestly, I'm not ready for that. Alex Shelley is the god Dionysus in human form, therefore, I'd be a total mess and just not be able to handle talking to him. I'm not professional enough a reporter to handle trying to chat with him.
But, getting back to the fans, their fans not mine, who read my main blog every week. It's starting to wear on me. I am not sure I can keep it up, not on a weekly basis anyway. Yes, the gimmicks will continue, just not at the frequency they have been. I'm doing what I can in a lighthearted way to keep them in the news without trending on their personal lives (I only talk about what I see of them on the show every week. That is the one and only rule)

The Book of Spells by Michael Johnstone

2009-12-14T19:21:00.003-05:00

I just talked about this on my book blog, but thought I would write about here too.

This is a great book of shadows for anyone wither they be a beginner or practicing for years.

With everything from love spells to a spell for peace in the office, it has what you are looking for.

The introduction gives a good overview of the Wiccan holidays, and it's easy to understand layout makes it as easy to read as a cookbook.

Who am I to cast a shadow

2009-12-14T11:52:00.003-05:00

The easier it is to get your work out there, the harder it is to get heard.
Everyone and their dog's grandmother are blogging, youtubing, and self publishing. The artistic world has become a junk pile of over used gimmicks and nightmarish proportions of untalented goofs.

The world is a gutter and it needs to be cleaned up. I know, I 've been trying to get noticed for years and I'm about ready to give up. I've done the youtubes, the blogs, the online magazines, and still, my voice is not being heard.

How does this make me feel? Less then webceleb status. When books and movies focus on bloggers you have to ask yourself are they pro blogging or anti?
I am still wondering on the whole thing.

So here it is, I am giving myself one more year to get noticed by the people I want to notice me then to hell with them.
I'm already 35, and no one wants a middle aged anything. So since it's nearly the end of 2009, I am giving myself till January 1st 2011 and then done if the people I want to notice haven't.

So how do I make this next year count?

Dear Blog

2009-12-13T19:55:00.004-05:00

Do you ever get tired of being told "no" or "maybe it's not who you think it is". I sure get tired of it. Half the people in my life are telling me to keep the spirit alive and the other half are telling me no no no.

It's one of those is a celebrity a god or just a man ? Situations.
The people telling me to keep the spirit alive are saying, celebrities are just people with really cool jobs, they still eat sleep and dren. They are still human.
The people telling me no no no, are saying celebrities are gods. They are so out of our leagues that we shouldn't even think of them.

Really hate these mixed messages. Really hate them.

The same people telling me no no no, are also telling me that the celebrities are just as insecure as we are. Well, make up your mind. Are they on our level or not?

Maybe a celebrity is what I need. God knows that the men I have been meeting are not worth much.

What you see you are

2009-12-12T22:02:00.000-05:00

In magick, the use of visualizing your desires is the strongest tool you have.
Positive thinking. Law of attraction.

How do you view yourself? In a positive or negative way? I've always seen myself as this entity. This force to be listened to. Like Gozer in Ghostbusters. A creature of supernatural means.
When I get dressed I don't try to look sexy, I try to look animalistic. I want to put people in mind of a hyena or wolf or something. Or even a vampire.

I am not a goth. Let's get that straight. I am way too much into the Sex and the City thing to be goth. And you don't see too many goths who like Jane Austen, just doesn't happen. Thou, for some crazed reason, I get told alot that I would make a great goth model.

Um what have you been smoking?

But back to the way you see yourself. I also see myself as a female version of Warhol. My hands into everything creative. So I see myself as this powerful talented creature. In time, I will live up to my view of myself.

Do you view yourself in a positive way? Enough to make your life bend to your dreams?

Taking Ninja's advice

2009-12-12T19:59:00.002-05:00

My sister thinks I should go back to working on my full length novel and give up the idea of the short story collection.
I agree.

It's just nice to hear someone agree with me for once. And since Ninja and I have never been close -close, it's even better to have her agree with me.

So, back to my original plan. Finish my novel by March, since I lost 4 months working on the short stories that just were bad. I still am mad at myself for taking the advice of that other author.

Cheer up though, everyone at the book store hates the other author.

Condom Art. What?

2009-12-12T08:59:00.005-05:00

Back few years ago, I got a phone call from Viva-Loca Homegirl Esq. She was stoned out of her mind and laughing like a wild boar. I made the mistake of asking her what was so funny.
"The condoms are slippery and the needle keeps ....owww... I keep sticking myself with the needle."

Um what?
She was a fashion designer and after having been drinking for hours, she got the brilliant idea she wanted to make a dress out of condoms. Okay my advice was a large pot of coffee and to put the sewing kit away.

Then we got thinking a few days later when she was sober-ish, about a photography project we were working on. We had decided to add the odd placed condom to a series of pictures we were doing. Was interesting to see how the meaning of a simple photo of a guitar subtly changed by adding a condom instead of a guitar pick. Or a vampire book surrounded by condoms the same colour as the book.

That's what it was like everyday hanging out with Viva-Loca Homegirl Esq. Life was unpredictable and I always laughed out loud. Some friendships don't last a long time, but they leave a massive impression on your lifetime.

Well it's been on my mind alot lately.

2009-12-11T17:13:00.005-05:00

I am not a mom.
I have never planned on it. EVER.

Came close once a few years back but that's a long story that I am not in the mood to tell again. Ever.

But, I have been getting alot of signs shall we say, pointing to the idea that it might actually be in my future. Not sure I like that at all.

But, given I am 35 already, it's only natural that it would be a topic I'd have to face at some point.
It's just strange timing that the new Uma Thurman movie Motherhood just came out. I have not had a chance yet to see it, but it looks fabulous. It's suppose to be about a woman who is balancing her kids and her writing career. This is why it's appealing to me.

Ah, my writing career. Or I should say, my lack of a career. No one really realizes how hard it is to be a writer. In this day and age, everything has been done, and everyone is either published or trying to get published. I'm still trying. Things just keep getting frealed up. (Frelled for you Farscape fans who are total sticklers)

Soon. Very soon, I can feel it. It's there, just around the corner. And your books end up being your babies don't they? Righty-ho, Righty-ho. But as I was saying, I keep getting signs that there might be a kid down the road for me. All I have to say is, only if it's with "the right guy".
Anything else, just don't want to think about it.

Morticia Addams vs Lily Munster

2009-12-11T11:13:00.004-05:00

Everyone has a favourite. The moms who made vampires part of daily tv.
I've always been partial to Lily Munster myself, but I just can seem to make the white outfit work for me. I even had the streaks in my hair at one point (though I was still a redhead with blonde/blue streaks.)
Most people go for the Morticia Addams look. I think because it's easier to pull off. A long black dress and straight black hair (that would be my sister's favourite look)

What I wouldn't give to get my hands on some of the recipes from the shows/movies as well as the props.
I have been looking everywhere for a jet black tea set with the spider handles, as well as a set with the silver lizards.

Yes, if I was ever to be a mommy I would fashion myself after Lily Munster.

So I was watching Witches of Eastwick

2009-12-10T16:14:00.005-05:00

I found myself always drawn to the character of Alex (Cher) in the movie. I seemed to identify with her more then the other two. It's been years since I read the book. I have it on my list to re-read in the coming months.
I was upset that the tv series is being canceled. I don't feel it was given enough time to really establish itself. I really did not care for the second book Widows of Eastwick. It lacked any real direction.
The original book had a few recipes that I tried once and liked. There is a tomato sauce the character of Alex makes. It's become my main base for tomato sauce actually. All but the Belladonna. I can't get that here.
I have fought the title of witch for years. I gave in awhile back but it still holds something to it that doesn't fit me. Yet, I keep coming back to it. It just doesn't fit me. Kind of like an old sweater you got handed down to you from your grandmother. Just not really your style. I'm not even sure I have a "style" anymore. I'm too poor to be chic and too lazy to try.
Can you tell I am in a talky mood, only I don't have much to really say today.

A Grimoire is a Grimoire is a Grimoire but sometimes....

2009-12-10T11:55:00.006-05:00

We scrapbook, we write recipes in cookbooks, we journal.
There was a time when all these things were kept together in the same book. And spells were also part. So many Pagans still use Grimoires. I do.
I also have a scrapbook, a cookbook, and a journal. And a blog. Yeah I can do it all.
Like Elvira (I can cook it- I can shake it -I can mix it -I can bake it if I don't have the recipe I'll fake it) I'm a domestic goddess.

Okay, well trying to be anyway. Give me credit for the attempt.

I love the scene in Elvira Mistress of the Dark when she is using the spellbook to make a casserole and has no idea what it really is. Love it!
Elvira has been my hero since I was little. I still wanna be her when I grow up.

Have we lost the art of creating these super cookbooks? I have to wonder. With everything on these machines now, how much of us would remember things if we lost all this ?
I know I am one person who would have a massive meltdown if I lost my blogs. They have become my grimories, my homebase, my connection to the world and to my innerself.

So a grimoire is a scrapbook, a grimoire is a journal, a grimoire is a cookbook and sometimes it a blog too.

I'm not Martha Stewart but I'm doing my best.

2009-12-09T13:36:00.004-05:00

My friend is a baking genius and she seemed to make things as easy as the rest of us boil water. She had made these fabulous brownies. When I asked her for the recipe, she grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and simply wrote http://www.marthastewart.com Cream Cheese Brownies.
It seems no one uses cookbooks anymore, everyone just goes online and gets recipes that way.

So I went to the website and got the recipe. It ended up being a big mess just did not work for me. I have no idea what I did wrong.
Baking is not my strong suite. Soups and Stews are. I have no issue with Meatloaf or even roasting a turkey. But something as simple as a tray of cookies, I am useless.

What would Elvira Do?

2009-12-09T12:52:00.005-05:00

If you follow me on my other sites, you know I sometimes refer to Jane Austen and Sex and the City when things are going wonky in my life.

Well, there was a time I used to ask "What would Elvira Do?"
(that was before SATC and be becoming a Jane Austen fan)
And think it only fair to ask that again here.

My burning question is "What do I do about my crush?"
So I'm grabbing the book Transylvania 90210 and randomly flipping to a page using bibliomancy (randomly flipping to a page in a book and using the first sentence you see as divination) for my answer.

I had to think fast. "Oh I just came over to borrow a cup of ....flies!" I said lying. " Yeah. I'm uh...making flyed rice and I just realized I was fresh out of the pesky little critters". page 77

Okay, how do I decode that? Maybe I am suppose to cook for him?
Which is kind of funny given a few things.

1) I keep saying that wrestler Alex Shelley is too skinny.
2) I recently started a cooking blog that I have been not updating as often as I should.
3)This is a domestic styled blog which means what I am not totally sure yet.
4) I have no clue who it is that is supposedly is crushing on me.
5) I just realized in #1 I forgot to add that my big celebrity crush is on wrestler Alex Shelley so for anyone who doesn't read my other blog has no idea why I mentioned him in the first place. (I am totally crushing on wrestler Alex Shelley and believe that he is too skinny and have this gimmick on my main blog where I keep offering him cookies)

Alrighty then.
I suppose I am needing to make dinner for whomever my big fan is ? Dazzle him with my vast knowledge of cooking skills if ever the dude actually lets me know who he is.

Whoever he is I hope he's cute

2009-12-08T22:56:00.003-05:00

It would seem I have a fan. A big fan.
Someone who reads my main blog on a regular basis, and who has started to read my gonzo style blog too. It would also seem I have hurt his feelings because I started talking about a new guy.
Hmm. Interesting.
So what did I do, I wrote a poem about it. And linked it to my main blog flat out saying it was for the "right guy" to reply to.
Let's hope he has the guts to reply to it, and let's hope he does so in a comment and not elsewhere on the internet. Cause, dude if I don't know who you are, how can I read a reply if you blog it or twitter it or facebook it or myspace it or etc.
I have comments on my blogs, so if he's got the guts to reply here's hoping he's got the brains to reply in my comments on that particular blog.

When will I ever learn?

2009-12-08T20:25:00.000-05:00

Hi.
My name is Ardeth Blood.
That's Miss Blood to many of you. Some of you might know me from my million other spots on the internet, and others might not.
And I am a drama junkie. Not by choice.
It just seems to follow me and I have yet to figure out how to stop it in it's tracks.
And it seems high school is never over.
I'm in my late 30's, and I am still getting stuck in situations that make me feel like I am in high school at lunch in the cafeteria. Stuck at a table right between the cheerleaders and the stoner goth kids.
I hate it.
I mean, seriously, I couldn't even talk about the situation on my normal blog because I have those people involved following my normal blog. And my Facebook, and my Myspace. So, here I am, on a new spot with no followers.
That's really said isn't it?
So the situation is this, Person A is backstabbing Person B, and Person B is backstabbing Person A, and I can see both their points of view. Meanwhile, I am in a business deal with Person A but being told by Person B not to trust Person A. I am starting to is some patterns here.
Thing is, neither of them really have their acts together at all.
See, stuck in a big high school She said She said sitch.
And this is not the first time this has happened. Will I ever learn to trust the right people? We shall see.

Creeping Screams!